Thinking about stuff during class.

I’ve been staying between 154 and 156 for the last few weeks. It goes up and down depending on the day. This is not a bad weight at all. In reality, Dr. Moser told me that he would be happy with me being between 150 and 155, so I’m basically at an acceptable place right now. According to Weight Watchers, I need to get to below 142. So I need to lose about 15 more lbs according to them. This is the last bit of weight that most people have trouble losing.

So I honestly wrote down what I’ve eaten in the last 4 days (I think my count is accurate) and tallied up the points like a good Weight Watchers girl. I’ve been eating more than twice my daily points. No wonder I’m not losing! But I’m not gaining either. I guess all the exercise is helping with that. I’m thinking that I’m going to be really strict with myself for two weeks and not use my flex points and just get the last push done with. It might turn into more than two weeks. I want to finish! I want to get to where I need to be so I can do maintenence and have my bloody extra points and be done! Give me my maintenece points, damnit!!!!!! Yeah yeah… I have to finish the program first.

Other thing I thought about: I have 13 days until I need to turn in my next paper. And only 36 days until I turn in my final assignment for the term. In the next 36 days I have to read: 3 novels and 8 plays and a big packet of criticism and a book on criticism and do research for two presentations and write an 8 page paper, then combine that 8 page paper and the other 8 page paper into a 20 page paper with more data, and write another 20 page paper and write a 15 page story.
Tom felt the need to point out that I only need to write like 2 pages a day and read a book and two plays per week. Well yeah, but I’m not slick enough to partition out my time like that. I have sat down with my calendar and blocked out days to do each paper and read each book. I am going to finish all of this stuff early so that I can get feeback from the prof’s. It is important to me that I actually feel like I have done a good job this term. I want to get A’s because I have earned them–not because I am so good at bullshitting.

This unfortunately means that I am going to be skipping some events in the next 3 weeks. 🙁 I need to stay home and push myself to FINISH. I will crawl out of my hole soon. I promise. Until then, everyone have fun and send me emails telling me about all your delicious fun. I provide other people with wank material, where is mine?!

13 thoughts on “Thinking about stuff during class.

  1. noirem

    when did you decide to get down to your WW approved weight? I thought you decided that their expectations were unreasonable and not what you wanted for yourself?

    Reply
    1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

      Basically I looked at my thighs and thought, “Hey, there is still a lot extra here. I guess I actually can go down more without being emaciated.”

      I don’t want/need to be a stick figure. I was thoroughly convinced in my own mind that at 140 I would be one. Looking at my ass/belly/thighs I am now aware *sob* that losing 15 more pounds will not make me a stick figure.

      Reply
      1. blacksheep_lj

        Yes but it can make you a nut case. Be realistic. 142 probably is fairly low – sure you might be able to get there, but I doubt you really could stay there. And if you’re doing things healthfully and your body doesn’t want to be a lower weight, you really should respect that. Pushing past those limits can be very unsettling to your psyche and your final outcome (can you say yo-yo?) I really think it’s important to spend more time being happy about your body than being critical of it and obsessing about numbers.

        I’m coming from having been through the experience of “making weight” to be a lightweight rower. My normal weight is around 155+/-2 that’s what I weighed as a college freshman, it’s what I weigh now. When I became a rower, and started working out REALLY hard all the time, my normal weight was about 145. As a lightweight rower, I had to be 130. According to the “charts” it was a little low, but still reasonable for someone my height. Bull shit. Prior to the lightweight experience I was pretty comfortable with myself. After it, I thought I was a fat cow when my weight (inevitably) went back to normal, even though I knew that I had to work out three times a day and eat 1500 calories a day to get there. I was never a stick figure – my body just doesn’t look like that, but it was still far too low. It’s taken me years to get comfortable with that again. I’ve learned that I have to take into account how much exercise I’m getting and just feel good about being healthy, and being a WOMAN (curvy and soft) I still am very active, but I’m probably never going to be less than 150 again. And I’m really quite comfortable with that.

        Reply
        1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

          According to the “charts” for my height 142 is the absolute maximum of what I should weigh until I get quite a bit older. I’m not shooting for the mid-range or the low end of the charts. I’m trying to hit the maximum. I am about 4 pounds heavier than the charts say I should ever be in my entire life. Does that still seem outrageous?

          I got the impression that you are quite a bit taller than I am. That skews the numbers to think about you and I in comparison. (I’m 5’5″.)

          Reply
          1. blacksheep_lj

            I hate charts. I agree that we should not be comparing our weights as a point of reference, but that’s exactly the point – charts don’t take into account all the different shapes we have. I for one, have no hips, never have, never will – I’m built like my mom that way. However, I’m 5’7.5″ (I say 5’8″, but it’s not quite true) and my mom’s 5’0 with DD boobs. I have a friend who’s all of 5’1, weighs about 130, according to the charts that’s obese for her height, but she’s got amazing curvy hips – her whole family does – and she’s a very fit dancer – not remotely “overweight.”

            I think my point is that going off an abstract chart number really isn’t realistic. You should be feeling really good about yourself. You look good, you feel good. Maybe your weight will get a little lower, but that has to happen as a reflection of your long term eating and exercise habits, not as a “last push” or “finishing the program.” Goals are fine and good, but they’re not Finish lines.

          2. Krissy Gibbs Post author

            How dare you bring in something silly like health or logic. What kind of girl do you think I am?

            I know all this. Does it mean that I am bright enough to do things exactly how I should? No, not really.

  2. teamnoir

    What’s your body fat at?

    How do you feel?

    And how do you feel about the way you look?

    5 days in a row to the gym here, (30+ minutes “cardio” & 10-15 more of something else). Carrying Lucile, (who’s original purpose in life was to count calories in & out), but not actually tracking just yet. And I’m a few pounds over my “never again” weight. :(. So I’m still just working my way into really determined.

    Reply
    1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

      I actually have no idea where my body fat is.

      I feel pretty good, except when I sit down and watch my thighs spread out. Oh, you meant health. I’m healthy as a horse and I have amazing amounts of energy.

      I am really close to thinking I’m as fantastic as I can be. I do want my thighs and hips to slim down just a tad more. This is my ideal me.

      You are better than me about the gym this week. Oy.

      Reply
      1. teamnoir

        I meant, at what percentage body fat are you?

        Body fat is a much more interesting measure than the height and weight metrics. The height and weight metrics are really just a very crude approximation of body fat measurements but they don’t work well for extremely thin people or for mesomorphs. In contrast, body fat measurements work for pretty much anyone.

        Your gym will do caliper measurements for free if you ask them. And Fry’s sells bathroom scales that do body fat via skin capacitance. Given that 24hrfitness trainers aren’t scientists, it’s easier to get understandable results from the capacitance measurements.

        Reply
      2. blacksheep_lj

        Thigh spread happens. Doesn’t matter how skinny you are. I have witnessed it.

        I have calipers, good high quality ones. If i can just remember where I put them……..

        Impedance body fat isn’t really a great measurement. Hydration levels affect it too much, and having something available to “measure your body fat” on a daily basis is a REALLY bad idea, because it will be completely misleading. It’s the sort of thing you might check once a month at most.

        Reply
  3. plymouth

    My goal weight is 150. I graduated high school at 150. I look and feel good at 150. The charts say I should be about 150 for my height and age… if I was a guy. Well, tits notwithstanding, my body is actually built guy-like in a lot of ways, so this makes perfect sense to me. The girl charts want me to be 140. I don’t wanna be, so I say to hell with them. No, it wouldn’t make me stick-skinny, but I do feel like it would make me light enough as to no longer be able to hold my own in a mosh pit full of big burly guys. When I dropped my weight down from 174 to 150 I noticed a HUGE difference in how much force I had in the pit. I could still handle it, but it was obvious that weighing less would make it a scary experience for me. I don’t want that. Not that I go moshing very often… but I really enjoy it when I do!

    I should find a good show to mosh at soon. It’s been way too long.

    Reply
  4. sillymesaysme

    Me, being short (5’2″), by the charts should weight 120. I’m about 160. Sometimes I feel fat, but I’m healthy. I eat ok and I exercise. If I were to actually get to 120, I probably wouldn’t be very healthy. I started ignoring those a while ago and started listening to what my body wanted. When I cut back I get sick, lose energy, and get moody. Somehow the bit of chubbiness I have is worth it to me.

    Reply

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