I was just told that I am black listed from one of the schools in my district. All of a sudden I totally question the wisdom of me going into teaching at all. I question the wisdom of me ever leaving my house again. I feel like shit. I want to cut. I feel so completely worthless.
Did they say why?
– Mark
no
That sucks. Can you find out why?
Suck. Do you know anything specific about that school that’s different?
How common is blacklisting? Would you have had to do something awful, or just mildly irritating to somebody?
Don’t they have to give you some reason? I think I would suggest pursuing it from the perspective (or at least the outward appearance) of “What can I do to improve?” – trying to come in the back door and find out what went wrong without being overly aggressive or defensive.
As for teaching, it is not an easy thing to do, especially if you really care about it. But the people who care are the ones that can make the greatest difference. It is because we care that we take things personally and invest ourselves in the job.
You also can’t please everyone all the time. I’ve definitely learned that. There are a lot of people who think I do a fantastic job. There are a few who for whatever reason don’t respect me or my work. I have to let myself believe in the overall positive effect I have, rather than dwell on the few. I can learn from things that go poorly, but it doesn’t mean I’m a failure.
Don’t beat yourself up (literally or figuratively). It could be any million things…..at least try to get a straight answer before jumping to conclusions of long term significance.
Hugs.
If it makes you feel any better, some of my favorite teachers were the one that had to deal with blacklisting and parents insisting that they get fired.
::hugs::
Find out why. If it’s some random nonsensical reason then organize a protest. 🙂
Sweetheart, public education is an institution that hurts people sometimes. You gotta stay in the game to make sure that happens the least amount of the time though.
And besides, they were stupid. That’s obvious. You’re a bright, wonderful, teacher that will effect thousands of students in your lifetime. You’re there for them, not district assholes.
Keep your head up, they don’t deserve to have such an impact on you.
*warm hugs, cause I know how fucked up these things can be*
Just heard…. yah that sucks. You need to find out why. Academia, even in the public schools is a VERY political game. Big fish, small ponds and all that, and the smaller the pond the more rabid the fish.
You need to find out why, you need to campaign to counter it, and you need to learn to walk carefully on those eggshells. No matter what level of academia you go to its pretty much the same.
The upside is of University is once you get tenur you no longer have to worry about that… but till you get tenur its kiss butt and play nice.
It sucks, but welcome to joys of political infighting….