Apparently I’m hitting the goth club in Mountain View tonight. Hm… Ok. Hey Miss Morte, will you deign to make an appearance so I can worship your loveliness? Anyone else interested?

Info for those who want:
Doors at 9pm
21+ with ID
Free before 10pm
$4 after

King of Clubs
893 Leong Dr.
Mountain View, CA

I will be there between 10 and 10:30.

I’m debating dressing up, even though the website http://www.clubadrenochrome.com/index.php does not show other people dressing up. I just don’t wear enough latex in life…. hmmm

This was an incredibly hard weekend on many levels. *sigh* I manage to get involved with some of the highest drama people. dude. I am involved with this woman, Katie. She is a really nifty and wonderful person. I adore her. I can’t imagine a more fantastic woman. *sigh* She recently split up with her wife of several years because her wife is an awful, selfish, horrible person. Ok, no one is all one-sided, but what I’ve seen of the bitch… I really don’t like. She doesn’t deserve Katie at all. But I digress.

Friday night I stopped by a vanilla party. It was interesting. I felt like I was being awful and inappropriate the whole time. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing/saying wrong… but I felt wrong. I left really early (I was the first person to arrive and I ended up leaving within 10 minutes of other people showing up) because I was supposed to go up to the city to meet up with Katie at a dyke event. I went to the wrong BART station and had issues on the drive up and I got to the event an hour and a half late. I felt stupid and lame and irritated with myself. I managed to find Katie pretty quickly actually, totally accidently. She looked very hot, as usual, but I think she was seriously drunk because her behavior was really off. She was wearing a cute little latex cowgirl outfit. She had a toy gun. She kept pointing the gun at me. I didn’t say anything to her, but that is a huge thing for me. I was really upset about it. She tried to fuck my mouth with the gun and didn’t pick up on the signals that it wasn’t ok with me. *sigh* Eventually I went back to my friends house to crash. (She let me use her apartment over the weekend as a home base. What a good friend.) I didn’t sleep much. We were upstairs from one of the dyke bars in town. Wow was that obnoxious. Then the sun came up right through the window and I couldn’t sleep.

I called wonderful Anthony and he picked me up on his way to the San Francisco Free Folk Festival. We had breakfast then danced the day away. Yay fun. That was the highlight of my weekend. I had an amusing time on public transit on the way back to my friends before heading to the dyke march. I ran into a few people I know and enjoyed catching up with them for a little while. I found Katie and her friend. That was fun for a little while. Then Katie ran into her ex-wife. *sigh* Huge drama. Crying for like half an hour. Even after she was done crying, she was morose. Not a big shock. I didn’t manage to finish the whole march because I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and I was about to fall down. Dancing all day then walking for a long time on an empty stomach was too much for me. I called a boy I’m seeing who wanted to go out after the march. He brought his dinner date along and the five of us hung out at a dyke bar. It was amusing. Katie ended up hooking up with a woman she works with and ignoring the group. The dinner date was spending time with her ex-girlfriend at the end of the bar. I felt bad about kind of ditching Katie’s friend as I sort of wandered off with the boy I was interested in. Stupid complications about getting people home and eventually he and I decided that we were skipping the fence sitters ball and we went to his house. We played then crashed.

We woke up and had sex. It was nice. I like him. He’s great. I won’t be terribly involved with him for much longer so the attention right then was fun. (He mostly only sees other people when his wife goes on vacations, and she comes home soon. She is really great and I am not going to pursue him much when she is around because she doesn’t like seeing it.) We went over to the pride parade. That was fun. There was lame issues around trying to deal with the motorcycle helmets, but I handled it. I watched the parade alone. It was the first time I have actually watched most of the parade. heh. I got a few pictures of friends. That was fun. I wandered over to Leather Alley and talked to people for a while before my shift of topping for the crowd. Much flirting was done. Then I played for a while. There was lots of interpersonal drama during the day. Expectations weren’t met. People were disappointed. Crying happened. Once again I took too much personally and felt like shit. I was responsible for disappointing people. It was my fault that people were upset. There is no way it was my fault, but I felt like it was. I did get topped for a while and that was good. I got my boots shined. I felt happy about flirting. But there was so much negativety all day that I couldn’t shake feeling miserable. Then I ended up not spending time with someone I wanted to spend time with. Then I ended up not managing to find anyone to keep me company. I walked like 12 blocks with feet that hurt so bad I wanted to sit down on the corner and cry. I got on bart and went halfway to my car. Then I noticed…. motherfucker. My car keys were at my friends house. I had to go back and get them. It took me hours because I hurt so bad. I dropped by the Liquid Munch after I finally got my car. I wanted a little mild affection. It turned into drama. I’m not sure what happened. Paul was being upset and pissy. Katie was miserable. Apparently her ex had come to her house that morning. *sigh* Paul was all melodramatic with me, and said, “I hope I didn’t offend you….” “Well, you did.” Then he got more pissy. I should have lied. *sigh*

I went home. I flopped. I feel icki and sad. I get to go start school in an hour and a half.

If anyone dumps anymore freakin angst on me in the next 24 hours I am going to lock my front door, rip the phone line out of the wall and never ever talk to anyone again.

Hey! “Chasing that Neon Rainbow” by Alan Jackson is a Shottishe! (However that is spelled…) This was a fun discovery while drunk in my living rom…. heh.

Wow is the weekend booked like crazy already!

Friday: Eat dessert with very cool people.
In bed with Fairy Butch with a hot girly and friend. I look forward to meeting her friend! Any friend of this girly has got to be a nifty person.

Saturday: Dancing stuff intermitently during the afternoon.
Dyke march.
Bi ball? I have been asked to maybe head over with someone I am interested in. It could be very interesting…

Sunday: Parade watching (I wish I could march, but it isn’t a good idea.)
Work the Janus Booth tying up hot chicks.
Date with a hot boy. We’ll see how that goes… (Once again, I’m nervous. I am so silly.)

Will I see anyone at any of these events?

A friend commented last night..

“I used to be old school, now I’m just old.”

It was difficult to control my laughter.

Like I’m not already busy. Oy.

Home

Dancing!

I’m watching “Oliver!” After doing this show twice in one season when I wad 15 I never would have believed I would be willing to sit through it again… But I’m enjoying it. I am remembering all sorts of things that happened during that period of my life. I’m much happier now.

The weekend was… uhm… fabulous. The weekend began on Thursday for me. I got to go spend a little bit of time with a nifty boy in Davis and dance with him. Anna’s graduation was remarkably painless. I enjoyed meeting her boy. He is cute and sweet and polite. I wish he knew that she is mad for him. erf. Dancing Friday night was pretty good. There were many missing faces that I mourned, but such is life. I had several nice boys choose to ask me to dance multiple times and that was swell. Saturday was a good talk with Tom. Relationship stuff. As isn’t much of a shock things are strange with Tom. I think things have been strange with Tom since I fell in love with him. I’m starting to take some of his quirks less personally, which is a big deal. It is significant personal progress on my part in general. I love him, and I have some hard choices to make soon.

Saturday night was Black Sheets. Damn was it hot. I had a blast. I had sex with Dad much to my still freaked-outedness. I haven’t finished processing that act. I’m working on it. It was scary. It actually was really painful and not that erotic. I don’t like his piercing. The blowjob was more fun than the penetration, but such is life. 🙂 He is really happy about it. He thinks it will bring us closer. I don’t know. I was already very attached to him and I don’t see how it is likely to change. *shrug* I flirted very actively with two boys that I met there. It was really funky for me. I have never been that active/busy of a hussy before…. dude. I made out with/was spanked by one of them and that was it. I uhhh got a bit more active with the other boy but it didn’t go that far. He had rules 🙂 I’m not sure how much I really wanted to do with him, so I was actually happy he had limits. I’ve heard from one of them so far… I’m not sure if I want to follow up on it. I can’t go to the next Black Sheets because I will be in Eureka teaching sm classes. I need to talk to the organizer about that more… hmmm

Sunday I had a date with Paul and we watched “Saved!” I liked it. Very amusing trite sort of movie. I recommend it for humor sake. We had a disappointing time at Mo’s b-day dinner. Then we went and picked up Katie. God DAMN is she hot. The play between the three of us is pretty fun. Although this wasn’t really play so much as just sex. 🙂 I spent all of Monday with Katie getting to know her better. We got familiar with one another’s history’s. She is so sweet. I really like her. I am going to enjoy spending more time with her in the future. I went to the Plough and then Death Guild. Yay dancing.

I flaked on my plans for after Death Guild because I was sooooo tired. My head hurt and I felt ready to cry. I just wasn’t up to a date. I am really sorry. I don’t like flaking. It is the second time I have cancelled plans with this person and soon he is going to decide that I am not worth the effort. Just wait and watch. *sigh* I am overscheduling myself and I’m not handling it well.

(side note- Oliver! is up to my favorite song. Yay!)

This afternoon I had lunch and a lovely chat with a gorgeous woman. She gave me an out for my relationship with Tom. I have to decide how I feel about that. Really trippy to think that I really am not trapped in any way. I am here because I want to be here. Do I want to be here?

Uhm well, if anyone wants to get ahold of me before ohhh Wednesday, please call me. I don’t think I will be checking email as I’m house hopping. Yay dates.

I am home from Monterey. It was amusing. I had guys buy me drinks for the first time. The bartender gave me his number. Wow. What an experience.

School schedule: I will be doing summer school from June 28th-August 6th Mon-Thurs 10:30-12:50. Ewwwww *sigh* It must be done though.

Real school starts August 25th. There will be a little bit of a gap in there.

Classes over the summer do start late enough in the day for me to stay out and play nights. Thank Gawd. I would have cried otherwise.

In other news: I’m ready to stop now. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/boot_slut/39702.html#cutid1) Really. I’m ready. I’m really ready to be done by Saturday so that I can be a big slut.

Yay for busy schedules!

I’m not usually very good at deciding what I want to eat. Rather frequently I will decide to not eat at all because I can’t decide. (Obviously, judging by my frame, this doesn’t happen that often.) So it’s 3pm and I haven’t eaten anything yet. Granted, I have only been awake for 3 1/2 hours so it isn’t that big of a deal. I go look into the fridge. I’ve been on a fruit buying kick this week. This is weird and somewhat bad because though I love to buy fruit I really don’t eat that much of it. For some reason the simple act of buying fruit makes me happy. I don’t get it. Most of the fruit in my fridge was probably perfect yesterday. Hm. I’m leaving in the morning for Monterey and I won’t be back for three days. hmmm. None of this will be happy by then. Alright alright…. Fruit it is! Oh, and I have lots of lettuce (I bought interesting lettuce instead of my standard romaine). So I now have in front of me: a big salad, grapes, strawberries, cherries, oranges. Oh, and to accompany the myriad of foods, 4 drinks. Diet Pepsi Vanilla, oj, water, and a dainty white russian. (I’m totally into these things right now. It is probably bad.) And to keep my company while I nosh: Rob Roy. Hell yeah Raven…. that man is inspiring to watch… *swoon*

After my lunch: laundry and cleaning up. I haven’t had a chance to put my stuff away from Alaska. I want my guest room floor back.

So, would anyone like to go see Scotty Emerick with me on Wednesday?

I was asked last night about the status of my love life. I had to stop and think about that for several minutes. Uhm… well…

Things with Tom… well… he is starting to actually say he misses me and ask for time with me. I think this is a huge deal. He is also starting to schedule lots of weekends off doing car stuff which eliminates the time I had planned to spend with him. Ok, I guess I will fill it elsewhere.

Noah still rocks pretty darn hard. We get along well. We are both still very into the NRE and very eager to see one another. I see him at least once a week and it is good. I’ve also started to get to know his primary and she is pretty freakin amazing. I’m excited by the prospects that exist in that direction for friendship.

Uhm, no… I haven’t stopped seeing Ricky. *sigh* I am such a dumbass. I did, however, set very clear boundaries on how much teasing he is allowed to do towards me and I was very honest with him about how I feel. I think that is a step in the right direction. I don’t see him much either. Like once a month. I think that isn’t overly taunting myself with what I can’t have.

DA! DA rocks so hard. He is the person I went to Alaska with and I can’t wait to see him again. He is so thoroughly nifty. We are talking on the phone quite a bit. I can’t see him till the end of August. He is in New York. 🙁

Paul is very cool and I look forward to seeing more of him. He is the only scene person in the mix on a serious level. He is mean and nasty!!! *bounce* cool. *bounce* I think my relationship has a very limited future with him because we are very much “not in the same place in life” and uhhh well… yeah. I’m breaking my age rule to date him at all. He is so very fun though. I think he’s a friend I play with and kiss. Yeah. That’s what it is. That way I’m not breaking the age rule.

I’m getting involved with a truly hot girl. Katie is so amazing. She is finishing up her necessary stuff to become a psychologist. She has done a bunch of porn. She is gorgeous and soooooooooo smart. Smart is so sexy. She looks really amazing when she comes. 🙂

Matthew is the minister. I dig him a lot. Although he is kind of clingy, and that trips me out.

Xavier is obnoxious. He is going away.

Emmett is a friend.

James. Mic.

I scanned through my friends list in the few minutes I have before I run away from the computer again for a few days.

People are hurting. I am so sorry. If I could help in any way I would, but I can’t. I will smack God upside the head and tell him to lay off of all of you if you want.

I’m going to BaGG tonight. 🙂

I hereby rescind my last post. A girl got suspended for her classroom behavior today (a number of things including telling me off in spanish. I may not be fluent, but I sure understand “Fuck you bitch” and “whore”. So the school decided they didn’t want me to come back the rest of the week. ?!?! uhm. excuse me? What in the hell did I do wrong? Whatever. Fine. I am quite certain I can find ways to fill my time.