This was an incredibly hard weekend on many levels. *sigh* I manage to get involved with some of the highest drama people. dude. I am involved with this woman, Katie. She is a really nifty and wonderful person. I adore her. I can’t imagine a more fantastic woman. *sigh* She recently split up with her wife of several years because her wife is an awful, selfish, horrible person. Ok, no one is all one-sided, but what I’ve seen of the bitch… I really don’t like. She doesn’t deserve Katie at all. But I digress.

Friday night I stopped by a vanilla party. It was interesting. I felt like I was being awful and inappropriate the whole time. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing/saying wrong… but I felt wrong. I left really early (I was the first person to arrive and I ended up leaving within 10 minutes of other people showing up) because I was supposed to go up to the city to meet up with Katie at a dyke event. I went to the wrong BART station and had issues on the drive up and I got to the event an hour and a half late. I felt stupid and lame and irritated with myself. I managed to find Katie pretty quickly actually, totally accidently. She looked very hot, as usual, but I think she was seriously drunk because her behavior was really off. She was wearing a cute little latex cowgirl outfit. She had a toy gun. She kept pointing the gun at me. I didn’t say anything to her, but that is a huge thing for me. I was really upset about it. She tried to fuck my mouth with the gun and didn’t pick up on the signals that it wasn’t ok with me. *sigh* Eventually I went back to my friends house to crash. (She let me use her apartment over the weekend as a home base. What a good friend.) I didn’t sleep much. We were upstairs from one of the dyke bars in town. Wow was that obnoxious. Then the sun came up right through the window and I couldn’t sleep.

I called wonderful Anthony and he picked me up on his way to the San Francisco Free Folk Festival. We had breakfast then danced the day away. Yay fun. That was the highlight of my weekend. I had an amusing time on public transit on the way back to my friends before heading to the dyke march. I ran into a few people I know and enjoyed catching up with them for a little while. I found Katie and her friend. That was fun for a little while. Then Katie ran into her ex-wife. *sigh* Huge drama. Crying for like half an hour. Even after she was done crying, she was morose. Not a big shock. I didn’t manage to finish the whole march because I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and I was about to fall down. Dancing all day then walking for a long time on an empty stomach was too much for me. I called a boy I’m seeing who wanted to go out after the march. He brought his dinner date along and the five of us hung out at a dyke bar. It was amusing. Katie ended up hooking up with a woman she works with and ignoring the group. The dinner date was spending time with her ex-girlfriend at the end of the bar. I felt bad about kind of ditching Katie’s friend as I sort of wandered off with the boy I was interested in. Stupid complications about getting people home and eventually he and I decided that we were skipping the fence sitters ball and we went to his house. We played then crashed.

We woke up and had sex. It was nice. I like him. He’s great. I won’t be terribly involved with him for much longer so the attention right then was fun. (He mostly only sees other people when his wife goes on vacations, and she comes home soon. She is really great and I am not going to pursue him much when she is around because she doesn’t like seeing it.) We went over to the pride parade. That was fun. There was lame issues around trying to deal with the motorcycle helmets, but I handled it. I watched the parade alone. It was the first time I have actually watched most of the parade. heh. I got a few pictures of friends. That was fun. I wandered over to Leather Alley and talked to people for a while before my shift of topping for the crowd. Much flirting was done. Then I played for a while. There was lots of interpersonal drama during the day. Expectations weren’t met. People were disappointed. Crying happened. Once again I took too much personally and felt like shit. I was responsible for disappointing people. It was my fault that people were upset. There is no way it was my fault, but I felt like it was. I did get topped for a while and that was good. I got my boots shined. I felt happy about flirting. But there was so much negativety all day that I couldn’t shake feeling miserable. Then I ended up not spending time with someone I wanted to spend time with. Then I ended up not managing to find anyone to keep me company. I walked like 12 blocks with feet that hurt so bad I wanted to sit down on the corner and cry. I got on bart and went halfway to my car. Then I noticed…. motherfucker. My car keys were at my friends house. I had to go back and get them. It took me hours because I hurt so bad. I dropped by the Liquid Munch after I finally got my car. I wanted a little mild affection. It turned into drama. I’m not sure what happened. Paul was being upset and pissy. Katie was miserable. Apparently her ex had come to her house that morning. *sigh* Paul was all melodramatic with me, and said, “I hope I didn’t offend you….” “Well, you did.” Then he got more pissy. I should have lied. *sigh*

I went home. I flopped. I feel icki and sad. I get to go start school in an hour and a half.