I was touched. I was held. I was told everything will be alright, I may even believe them.

I was going to have a nice calm sort of date. Sure, of course there would be sex involved. Then a conversation about how I was sad that I had not had the threesome that was planned for the weekend lead to…

A phone call. “You wanna?”
“Hell yeah!”
“Come over.”
“I will be there as soon as I can.”

I took a nap in the interem period. It is truly strange that waking up to sexual activity is one of the most rapid ways to turn me on. But then again, I really wasn’t worried about getting turned on. One boy who excels at my idea of the perfect fucking and another boy who has introduced me to the concept of… *gasp* foreplay. *fan face with hand* The two of them combined truly have to be the perfect shag. They massaged my legs and talked to me for a long while. I think most of the conversation was geared around making me blush. Why do so many people like seeing me blush? There was touching. There was stroking. Once in a while I worried that I wasn’t paying enough attention to both of them, so I verbally checked in. All was well. The sex was really really good. I have never before experienced some of the….combinations… of activities. mmmmm.

In the middle of this act, which I had looked forward to with glee and terror, I was frightened that I would feel like the dirty, horrible, bad whore that I was told I was when I was younger. I didn’t. I have connections with both of these people. They both feel a combination of love, respect, adoration, and appreciation for me. They are friends who were quite happy to combine efforts in my behalf. I was told over and over that I am loved. I was told over and over that I am beautiful. I was fucked hard and fast, I felt used and filled and wanted. I made love, slowly, gently, delicately; I felt appreciated and wanted. Both have their place. Although, I will confess that I am more interested in the slow lovemaking when I have had a good, hard fucking just before so that I am not frustrated with my desire to just come already!

The very best part (though I am not disparaging the sex, lord no) was being snuggled between them and listening to them talk over me. I was there, and part of the moment, but I wasn’t the center. They were enjoying their friendship and I was just incidental. But I was encased with acceptance and love anyway. Being involved, but not the focus, is wonderful for me.

I almost feel sated. It may take a bit more effort though. 🙂

Thank you. Thank you for everything.