But the hairy fuzzy navel is really nice. And I’m not sure I will actually get the long ramble done. Oh well.

I’m in a class on “Multi-cultural Foundations of Education” and all sorts of stuff is coming up for me. First is my gut reaction to some of the reading, which is: The author (Beverly Daniel Tatum writing Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In the Cafeteria?) seems to believe that people who are white can never do enough to atone for the inherent “white privelege” in our society and that really really bothers me. She talks about how white people need to form support groups of other whites to deal with their shame and guilt. Which, to me, implies that I should feel shame and guilt. Ack. Ok, but I don’t want to go off on that rant. What I do want to talk about here is that I am very interested by stuff about self-definitions. How we chose to define ourselves.

Most of the people I consider “friends” at this point in time would classify themself as some sort of “alternative” sexuality. (I personally like mistressmatisse‘s term “sexual transgressor”. It just seems fitting to me.) I wonder why we choose to make it such a huge part of our personal identification? Do we just need to have a way to make us vs. them happen?

I know that I am having trouble connecting with anyone in the class. I know that I feel distinctly “different” and I think part of it is that I know that I have to be in the closet. I can’t tell people who I am. I feel like I am denying myself. I feel like if anyone finds out why/how I am different that I will be ostrasized. If