I wasn’t in the mood to do it, but I passed a place selling Christmas trees on my way home and I stopped and got one. It is a nice tree. It took me forever to get it into the house from my car. Depression is seriously kicking my ass right now.

Eventually it got inside and I slowly put lights on it. By this point Miss Jenny arrived home. We got out our decorations and did the rest of the tree together and put stuff up around the house. It was good. We also talked about the drama. She pointed out that she hasn’t asked me to do anything. I know. I have this little problem with feeling like I am responsible for other people’s well being. >:-| Not so good I know. Thank you for the reminder ribbin. I don’t think I am going to do anything else to try and resolve the situation. I can’t get anything from it but feeling bad, so I should stay away from it.

I got in some badly needed snuggles tonight. Oh crap! I left my food there! (I just realized this. I’m sorry you guys! I didn’t mean to! I was kinda sleepy and out of it when I stumbled out…)

I’m not all better, but I’m working on it. Baby steps.

I hurt my mother this morning. She asked me how I was doing and I told her that I was upset and frustrated because I don’t know what I’m doing for Christmas now. She said in a very small voice that I could go there. Things with my family are better than they have ever been, but I think most of that is because I avoid them so deliberately and frequently. Christmas with them is never what I want from Christmas. I dislike hurting her though. 🙁

If I am a very good girl tomorrow I will do all the research for my annotated bibliography tomorrow between teaching and class. (I have like 3 hours to find 13 sources that talk about the cultural impact of fairy or folk tales.) I can start writing the annotations tomorrow night while I do laundry. I also need to drop off dry cleaning. I need to write the paper for my lit presentation tomorrow as well. I would really like to finish both assignments tomorrow so that I can concentrate on grading papers on Friday and over the weekend. Then I can do my summary paper (about student teaching) on Monday. Then I can do my beyond lesson on “Romeo and Juliet” on Tuesday after class. Then I can finish my huge monster lesson plan assignment on Tuesday and Wednesday and finish that paper by Friday and email it to the teacher. Then I will be done for the semester. (Oh, and don’t forget dancing at Dickens Fair this weekend. And going shopping for food for that. And James’ office Christmas party Saturday. I just sent an email canceling the dinner I was going to have with a friend on Friday. Not this weekend.)

Who has pity for me? Lets see how much sleep I get during the next week. *flop*