6 thoughts on “*whisper*”

1. wheresjuantoday 24/12/2004 at 15:24

   But what did the add say? If you didnt advertise specifically for a guy to be “toppy”, it seems unlikely you’d get that on a first date. I think most guys would enjoy being in control et at (maybe I didnt use et al correctly, don’t know) but unless your add says you are in to that sorta thing, I doubt on a first date he’s gonna try to go that direction.

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   1. satyrlovesong 24/12/2004 at 16:32

      I would concur. Unless I’m *IN* a relationship with someone *OR* we’ve discussed it at length I don’t go there. It would be presumptuous to assume that every subbie/bottom is going to fall at my feet and worship, particularly without laying out the ground rules first.

      Unless you know this guy well already (and even if you do since you are taking your relationship to a new level) I would expect the first date to be a basic compatibility date. Of course, if you’ve discussed your desires at length and he either ignored the comments or expressed dissatisfaction with that sort of relationship then it is probably time to move him out of “potential date” and into “could be a wonderful buddy”.

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   2. genderfur 24/12/2004 at 17:55

      I think most guys would enjoy being in control et al

      I *so* cannot agree. Lots of guys want to be the one not in control.

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      1. kbgilmore 25/12/2004 at 04:16

         Definitely true, especially on a first date where little has been discussed or negotiated. Even if your ad asked for a toppy guy, he may not be comfortable exposing that side of himself right away.

         On the other hand, you know way better than we do how the date went and what the guy was like. Sorry he wasn’t what you wanted and glad youb had a good time.

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   3. neverjaunty 25/12/2004 at 16:25

      Most guys want to be top dog in the relationship. That doesn’t mean they want to be “toppy” in the sense that means it.

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2. akienm 25/12/2004 at 07:58

   So…. As a guy who LIKES being in control, a question for you: what does toppy look like to you?

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