1. What did you do in 2004 that you’d never done before?
There was a night with Noah and someone else that sticks out in my memory…. I have begun the slow process of really learning how to be independent. I have done drugs (ok I could list the specifics of that which I’ve never done before but the people who want to know about it already know). I have loved more than one person. I fucked my Dad. How weird is that one?!!! (not my bio-father for those of you listening in at home.)

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
What I posted on g-blog last year was: “What would it take for you (generic you) to have a happy new year.
For me I think it would involve being more focused on working towards a goal in my professional life, finding a better balance of socializing and alone time, learning how to dance better, and more sex. I really shouldn’t ask if there are any takers for the last one. It would be quite shameless. And I really won’t make any hints about cute ex-mountain girls who really should be bi. :)”

I have become more focused on my goals in my professional life. I’m still working on finding balance between socializing and alone time. I have learned how to dance better–I didn’t ever imagine that I would be as good as I am. Though I can still use loads and loads of improvement. Oh my god have I had good sex. Thank you Jesus for all the good sex. I should figure out something for next year to work on. I’m still working on school. It’s good. enh. Fuck it. No resolutions.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not this year. But my brother’s wife is pregnant again.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year.

5. What countries did you visit?
None this year. I’m a doink. Need to travel more!

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Consistency. Stability. No endings.

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 15th. That is the date that Tom and I split up.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Moving out on my own. It was terrifying, but I consider myself strong for doing it.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest failure was cutting.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of sickness. Strep throat. Flu, Cold, stomach issues, sprained ankles, banged forehead… etc.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmmmm… Dark Garden corset? I suuuuure like it!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
This list is long. I couldn’t begin to be complete. Tom. Noah. Raven. I have been very blessed.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Someone I don’t even know. Someone who has both HIV and Hep C and has wantonly had sex with many women, many unprotected, and didn’t bother to tell them. I can’t believe him. No one in my life is so awful. Thank god.

14. Where did most of your money go?
School. Rent towards the end of the year. Food?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Ireland. Possibilities.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
Two songs. “She was the prize” and “I’m moving on.” One because I hope someone will think I’m the prize. “I smile as think of my true love once more. The light of my life. The one I adore. She…she was the prize. The prettiest girl with the loveliest eyes. She…she was the prize. Shiny black hair and those lovely…lovely brown eyes.” One because my heart is still broken. “I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong. I’m movin’ on.” I had a home for the first time in my life. I had to leave it. It was very hard.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. Happier or sadder? Probably sadder. But I’m holding on to hope.

II. Thinner or fatter? Almost the same. Maybe slightly thinner? My jeans are very loose right now.

III. Richer or poorer? Poorer. Much much poorer. *Sigh*

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Slept! I wish I had been better to the people I love.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
I wish I had cried less. I wish I had hurt people less.

20. How will you be spending New Years?
I will go to the Friday Night Waltz Ball and then to Debaucherama. I hope I will be kissing James.

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Yes I did.

23. How many one-night stands?
uhm… Do I have to answer this?! What qualifies as a one-night stand? Well, as far as true one-night stands go, there was only one. There were other people that I only had sex with once, but we are friends and I see them and spend time with them fairly often. So I don’t think they count as one-night stands.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Shoot your tv.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t hate anyone (new–there is always Erin Stagnero). There are a few people I am angry with. But that isn’t something to worry about anyway. I always get angry. It’s no big deal. heh.

26. What was the best book you read?
Hmmm. I’m pondering this one. The best? Hmmmm. *goes to look at library* Well, the book I enjoyed the most was, “Bad Girls, Good Women.” I’ve read a lot of ‘good books’ though.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Gaelic Storm.

28. What did you want and get?
The leather ball gown. I’m still conflicted about it.

29. What did you want and not get?
Tom to want me to stay forever. 🙁

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I have no idea.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had a large, rauccous party full of people who love and adore me. It was rather amazing. I was 23.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More satisfying? That is an odd question. I don’t know.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Teacherish! 🙂

34. What kept you sane?
The love and support of the people who matter to me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I don’t think anyone.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Abortion rights.

37. Who did you miss?
I miss Tom. I miss Julia. I miss Anna.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I don’t think there is an answer I could give that wouldn’t hurt someone. It has been an amazing year for me.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
I have to defend my boundaries or no one will. And I will be the only one hurt by them not being defended.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
“oh, mirror in the sky
-what is love?
-can the child within my heart rise above?
-can i sail thru the changin’ ocean tides?
-can i handle the seasons of my life?
i don’t know…..

well, i’ve been afraid of changin’
’cause i’ve built my life around you
but time makes you bolder
even children get older
and i’m getting older too”
-Landslide. Written by Stevie Nicks