Home. Tired. Sleep soon.

I mumbly-typed some crap last night, but it is totally incoherent, so I guess I should start over. Drunken journaling isn’t really a good thing… So yesterday was probably my biggest adventure day of the trip. Day six was lots of fun. Heh. Yay fun. So… I woke up on my own around 9 am from an incredibly erotic dream. I was so horny I was about to crawl the walls. It was pretty bad. Heh. I got up and took a bath because I had to go get breakfast. Tom came back to the room while I was in the bath and he decided that he didn’t want to wait for me to get his own breakfast. I eventually made it downstairs on my own and he kept me company while I ate. It was nice. We had a leisurely conversation and I told him that I was going back to bed. I crawled back up to the room and assed out again till noon. At noon I was in the middle of another incredibly erotic dream and I got a phone call from the front desk. Uhm… all those hours that Tom and I spent on-line during the evening/night/morning… well… turns out that the front desk had not been honest with me about that. It wasn’t free. Not free at all. So we had a several hundred Euro bill. Me being the girl I am… I threw a pretty serious tantrum. I had asked different people multiple times the day before if it was actually free. They swore up and down that it was, otherwise I would not have spent so freakin much time online! The hotel decided to take the charges off of our bill. (Between Tom and I we were probably online for more than ten hours. It was really frightening as a bill.) Yeah… it started the day off on a very strange note. First, I was so horny and frustrated that I was about to grab any passing person and then I was angry and frustrated that I was about to cry or slap someone. Yay frustration?

I went and found Tom and told him about the phone situation. He was quite pleased that I had dealt with it. Yay me! We spent the next few hours walking around the town and had quite a pleasant day of it. We found some cute stuff that I bought for people and after a bunch of frustration in looking for a sweater that I liked for less than 70 Euros I found one in a thrift store for 4 Euros! That rocked my socks off. Yay!!! During our wanderings I stopped in a department store and bought a large bottle of Diet Coke and a small bottle of rum because buying it in the pubs has gotten way too pricey. And yeah, I knew that I still felt like having some in the evening. We went back to the room (the weather was getting worse and worse by the minute and being outside wasn’t terribly pleasant anymore)and I started drinking. Heh. I had three glasses of rum and Diet Coke. (The glasses in the hotel rooms are like 6 ounce glasses. I wasn’t chugging gallons of the stuff.)

Tom settled in to enter into a spreadsheet an exact accounting of every single penny we have spent in Ireland. He always does this. For some reason it really made me angry last night. He wrote down how much was spent, by whom, and whether it benefited both of us or just one of us. I felt like he was trying to make sure I didn’t take advantage of him, but he swears that he was trying to make sure he doesn’t take advantage of me. (The first night here I hit an atm and I took a bunch of cash out and that is what we have been spending in cash. He puts stuff on his credit card when he pays.) For some reason, when he was doing it last night it didn’t feel true though. I have had this major complex throughout our relationship feeling like I wasn’t contributing enough financially. It is difficult for me at pretty much all times to accept anyone paying for me for anything. I have major anxiety issues around this. I don’t want people to ever feel like I am taking advantage of them or like I want them around for what they can buy me. I paid for ¾ of the trip to London and Paris. I felt like I was the one who had wanted to go, so it was my responsibility to pay for it. Yeah. We talked about the money situation a bit more today and I am no longer feeling angry and stressed about it. I believe him that he really is trying to make sure he doesn’t take advantage of me financially. It was just me being freaky with my personal baggage that created the stress last night. It was compounded by my being drunk and frustrated in general. I haven’t had sex in eleven days. I’m getting really bitchy.

So I put my mp3 player on and sat there doing more organizational stuff on my computer and ignored him until it was dinner time. We went and had pretty good Indian. Then I dropped him off at the hotel and went off to explore the town on my own. I put condoms in my pocket and kept my mind open. I wandered around aimlessly for about half an hour. Then I found a fellow sitting in a doorway playing a never-ending reel on his accordion and I danced by myself on the sidewalk for half an hour or so in the rain and cold. Eventually my calves started to let me know that I hadn’t stretched. Oops. I spent another ten minutes or so hanging out with the accordion player and then I wandered. He told me that good fairies such as myself would find more traditional music down the street in The Guard House. (He had been telling me how I was a fairy that just blew past to help him better enjoy the music. It was really odd. He was some flavor of Eastern European and playing Irish music… very bizarre.)

I went over to The Guard House and nothing was happening yet. I walked further down the street (You could do a full lap through the entire town in like 10 minutes.) and saw a cute bartender alone in a bar. I figured what the hell. I went in and we chatted for like half an hour, but there was zero vibe so I went back to The Guard House. When I got there this time there was a lively quartet playing some really fun traditional music. Me being me… I stretched out for a few minutes and then went through just about everything I know how to do. It probably looked funny by myself, but oh well. I had fun. People applauded and told me that it was great that I was dancing. I really need to learn some individual stuff… After a while I needed a break. I had noticed some girls come in while I was dancing who sounded American. I went and found them. They are Brooke and Megan (Brooke is waaaaaay cooler) they are from Seattle and studying in Spain for a year. I spent most of the night bouncing around coming back to them as a home base type thing. I felt much more comfortable that way. I pulled Brooke through a two hand reel (it was really funny) and taught her to polka and then I talked the musicians into a waltz and taught her that too. The people in the bar thought it was pretty awesome. J I had a freakin blast. This was all still early in the evening.

Eventually the bar filled in and a pseudo-punk cover band started performing. They covered all sorts of Guns and Roses, ACDC, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lynard Skynard… lots of others. I can’t remember what all. There was a group of guys that would once in a while come over to talk to us either individually or in pairs. They were obviously all together though. Throughout the evening it we discovered that they were all in town at a business conference. They all sell insurance. How exciting. Throughout the evening I ended up with a couple of ciders and a Guinness. I only paid for one drink though… Two of the guys were cute and I thought there was potential there. The first one got so sloppy drunk that I just wasn’t interested after a while. The second guy… well. Let me tell you all a story my little ones. (This is where my night got racy.) We were flirting pretty heavily. It was exciting. I don’t remember how it came up, but I complained that I was getting really antsy. He told me that I should be able to get any man in the room I wanted. I told him that I was shy, that I didn’t know how to approach a stranger like that… He said he would be happy to help me. Just point out the guy and he would get him for me. I smiled my very sweetest smile and just looked at him. It took him several minutes. Dork. Turns out he is engaged and actually remains faithful. AHHHH Damnit. He told me that he might think about being bad, but he should probably be good. I told him that I have a lot of respect for monogamous relationships, so as far as I am concerned he is just not an option at all. He was obviously not as set in this belief as I was, as our conversation throughout the rest of the night proved. When I was I was a bit more into my cups I decided to tell him, “Would it make a point in favor of being bad if I told you that I have a genital piercing?” Ha. Yes, it did. He wanted to see though. And so did his friend that was standing there. I decided what the fuck and I took them off to an area where no one else was, pulled my jeans down and showed them.

First of all, neither of them could believe that I had the piercing. Then they couldn’t believe that I would drop my jeans like that and show them my pussy. I about died laughing. It was great. Yeah, within fifteen minutes every single guy who was part of this little conference knew I had done it. They were all staring at me wide-eyed. I just kept giggling. I got proposition after proposition from these married guys. I told them all that I thought it was disgusting how little respect they had for their wives, and no I wouldn’t have sex with them. I don’t remember how it came up, but I told them that I have probably had sex with more women than any of them as well. (I was really really wasted and just totally getting my rocks off on scaring the natives.) They asked me how many women and I guesstimated cause I couldn’t remember exactly. A quick glance at my list tells me that I was one off. Heh. Then they asked me how many men I have slept with. I told them a lot more men than I have women. None of them believed me that I haven’t had sex in Ireland. I had an interesting time trying to explain to them how sleeping with my friends works. I don’t actually generally find random people, I have long-term friendships that include sex. It totally blew their minds. A few of the guys started getting really aggressive with demanding that I have sex with them. I pulled one guy really close and told him, “I said no. If you press the issue one more time, or touch me again, I am going to knee you in the balls. Do I make myself clear?” He backed off. It stopped being as fun at this point so I left the bar. This was around 2:30 and the other American girls had left a little bit before. They guys were all sloppy drunk and that was scaring me. I had put myself in a vulnerable position with my big mouth, so I skedaddled before any of them could really put two and two together and try to stop me.

Oh! I forgot to mention the two other American couples hanging out in the bar—they Ren faires. They were amused as all hell that I do too. They have watched the Merrie Pryanksters many times over the years but they don’t really know anyone. They said they would look for me next year. J I thought it was silly.

I passed out pretty quick upon returning to the hotel room. End of day six.

Day seven: I woke up pretty early because of the alarm clock and we got on the road pretty early again. We drove and drove and drove. We made many jokes about those bastards! in Kilkenny. Kill Kenny…. Get it? Ok, stupid joke… But we were amused. I slept in the car a bunch, I just have some thing about sleeping in the car it seems. I fall asleep soooo easy in the car. I actually really like it. We talked a bit today and Tom’s particular brand of silly humor was out in full force. Some days he gets on my nerves when he is at max silliness, sometimes I play along and it is cute. Today, we were both Littles together and it was awesome. Stupid jokes abounded… “Two cannibals were eating a clown. One cannibal turned to the other cannibal and said, ‘Does this taste funny to you?’” Yeah. We have stupid jokes together. But we really hit our groove of getting along and having fun. I thought it was the best day for us together so far. We got off track a few times, but I finally was willing/able to say, “This may not be the route that the guidebook has set out for us but it will get us there. Do what I want you to do.” Usually I can’t do that. I back down immediately and try to do things how he wants to do them. Then I quietly simmer and feel angry and he isn’t really getting what he wants anyway so we are both frustrated. We get along better when I stand up for my way of approaching problem solving. One might think that I would have learned to do so more often huh. One would think wrong! Cause one would be using logic and that is entirely unreasonable!!! Heh.

The hotel we are in tonight actually rather blows. There is a really unpleasant smell in the hallway. The room is cold. There is some stupid ass exterior light glowing right next to our window and the curtain is totally see-through. I’m feeling grumbly. The bed is only a double bed and that blows when you are trying not to touch your sleeping companion. This town doesn’t have any sort of internet access at all. The desk clerk said you have to go about forty miles before you get to any sort of internet café. How lame. Oh well. This means I am unintentionally blowing off Katie’s friend because he didn’t give me a phone number in either of the emails he has sent me so far. Erf! Sorry dude.

We have to get up at 7:30 tomorrow morning to get up and ready and head to the airport. It is going to be a long day of la-la-la. I haven’t asked anyone to pick me up from the bart station so I will probably end up walking home. Oh well. It isn’t as if I brought much stuff. And I’ve only found a few things cool enough to buy.

I was catching up newsletters last night and I noticed that one week (months and months ago) Lolita’s quote of the week was:

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

– Theodor Seuss Geisel aka Dr. Suess

That is the theme of the trip and my relationship at this point. I’m happy with it.

By the time anyone reads this, I will be home. I will probably be sleeping when most of you read this, at least those of you who check lj half as obsessively as I do. It will take me a day or two to catch up on lj and the other blogging site and those freaky independent blogs I read. God knows tribe is going to take a week.