Sometimes, I wonder if I will be able to get up in the morning. I have been barely dragging my ass up of late. I have been thinking with longing of when I used to sleep deeply and feel safe. Somehow, there were always specific circumstances. Sleeping
I hate my body. Ireland nekkid
But I look better than I used to. Disneyland Paris (March 03)
I was fat when I was with Tom, but I probably had a more realistic self image. California Adventure
Even when I’m thinner and dressed up, I don’t look particularly good. Gaskell’s
Sometimes I don’t feel like I have been happy since I last played with Tom. I know that it is bullshit though. I wasn’t happy then. palate wrap dress
I fake being happy well. Decompression
Maybe I just need a beating to even out the brain chemicals. marks
Maybe I don’t know what I need.
I babble a lot. I know it. Let me make a request:
Tell me three things that you find pleasing about me physically. Tell me three things that you don’t like/think I could improve. I find that just telling me positive stuff with no criticism feels very hollow. Nothing in life is “all good” and trying to pretend it is leads me to dismiss your opinion all together.
I like my smile. It is a quirky smile. I grin like crazy and people walking down the street smile back at me because my smile is infectious. I like that.
I like my hands. I think I have really pretty, delicate hands.
I like my lower legs. My calves are a very good shape and my feet are very nice.
I hate my teeth. They are uneven and I feel self-conscious every time I see pictures of my smile. Go figure.
I don’t like my skin. My skin tears too easily; I get ingrown hairs and zits way too often. I hate it.
I wish that exercising more had an effect on the freaking dimples in my ass. *sigh* They are icki.
See. Good and bad.
Short comments, because I don’t have time to elaborate right now.
1 – Face – pretty, youthful, energetic
2 – Thighs/butt – voluptuous, clean white skin made perfect for marking
3 – Feet – do I really need to go into detail here?
*kiss* Lots of people find you very attractive.
Feet I will buy from you lock stock and barrel.
There are negatives though. What is negative?
I left that out from my response for a reason. I am not that judgemental. There are many aspects to you I find physically attractive, add the fact that you are nice, that we get along, and play well… I see no negatives.
Really, some people in this world are just that simple. Like me.
How’s this for one… I don’t know your body well enough to have much in the way of negative/criticism comments to add.
I’ve never noticed your skin being fragile to the point of impediment – but I have loved how pliable it is and how you react to its abuse.
Personally, I find butt-dimples terribly adorable. Yours, too. But I can see how you’d have that storm relationship with a not-magazine-model smooth toned ass. shrug.
and again – I don’t see a negative there, but I recognize the one that you see.
I’ll make a point to come back and make a proper reply to this post later, comments on the good and try and manufacture some bad. *kisses*
I totally get it about all this body image shit. Really. Therefore, by your own request:
“Positive” stuff:
1) I love the curvy shape of your body. Your hips and butt are lovely, curving gently outwards from your smaller waistline. Mmmmm.
2) Your breasts are beautiful. There are definitely some advantages to being young and perky!
3) You have lovely hair. As someone whose mother used to perm mine constantly to give it any “body,” I admire the bouncy springiness of yours. And as someone with long STRAIGHT hair, I sympathize with how much work it must be to deal with yours, pretty much at any length longer than an inch!
“Negative” stuff:
1) I can see why you’d prefer to have larger breasts, or smaller hips, or some of each. As we discussed before, it’s a pain even trying to buy clothing when your sizes don’t match.
2) Stretch marks can be the bane of existence of those who have changed shape. Your aren’t particularly ugly, but they are there, and they sometimes interrupt the otherwise beautiful lines of your body.
3) Crookedy teeth. Mind you, I’m only including this because you asked–I hadn’t even NOTICED your crooked teeth till Akien pointed them out. But again, I can see how, if I owned them, I’d be self-conscious. Any chance you’d want to do ortho? It’s not as expensive as it appears at first glance, really, and they usually do payment plans. Not like you have a lot of money to throw at the problem right now, while in school, but it might be something to think about if it’s important enough to you.
And BTW, I can’t imagine why you don’t think you look good in the Gaskell’s photo in particular. Yowza! As Akien says, I’d do her! ;^)
I tend to find that skinnier girls look better dressed up (like a previous respondent, I liked the Gaskells pic) and heavier girls tend to look better naked. I share that preference, mostly, with people who do nude drawings 🙂
Though the you-naked-Ireland pic was lovely. For starters, it’s very clearly and obviously and, well, nakedly you. It’s a very you posture and a very you facial expression. The whole thing just screams. So, y’know, obviously I like it 🙂
Positive:
– Your hips and butt. Good to hold, good to run hands over, comfortable to lay on.
– Shoulders. Your shoulders aren’t impressively strong, but they’ve got a good shape and they suit you.
– Your mouth. Yeah, yeah, ignore all the lecherous stuff for now. You have a good mouth, a good smile, and a wonderfully quirky and mischeivous look.
Negative:
– The transition from your upper body (which is nicely delicate) to your lower body (which is strong and good to manhandle) looks funny. You need more abdominal muscle (or something similar, look-wise) to make this transition less jarring. Both halves of your body are good, but they fit together in a way that can be visually odd. More abdominal muscle was how I solved the same problem with *my* body.
– You tend to dress yourself conservatively in a way that looks funny. This isn’t really a complaint about your physical body so much as how you present it. The ‘California Adventure’ pic above is a fine example of this. The hemline is fine, but lower the waistline. It makes you look like somebody’s old uncle with his polyester pants hiked up to his navel. You can dress in a conservative and even severe way *without* it looking awkward. Sometimes you do, but often you don’t.
– Um. Wow, tough to think of a third one. I’m not in a position to say anything about your teeth, so I can’t go for the popular answer 🙂 Dunno. I’ll think of something later if you actually care.
3 each, positive and negative
negative first
1. You seem to have trouble believing in your own attractiveness. this is a failing I share
2. you’re not nearly available enough so I think you should give up the apt with Jennifer and Sara and move to vallejo so I can see you sometimes (!) *grin* – no seriously, the geography is a pain in the ass
3. Hobbit. let’s share links soon – tonight or tomorrow? (ok, that’s not about your body but still)
positive
1. like angelbob, I lovelovelove the nakedpic of you in Ireland – for me though what struck me was the gorgeous contrast between your pale skin and that red hair! a gorgeous composition dear!
2. you have a fascinatingly offset way of standing while you are engaged in a conversation – mostly balanced on one hip. while it looks intriguing though you should know that my aunt who also habitually stood like that wound up needing hip replacement… she weighs like 280 at 5’10, though. probably not a real issue but in interest of disclosure…
3. I like how you shift conversational gears quickly and are definitive in your opinions. this is admittedly more a mental trait but ask anyone, I go for the big sexy brains, and brain is part of body, neh?
Re: 3 each, positive and negative
http://www.houghtonmifflinbooks.com/features/lordoftheringstrilogy/lessons/
Re: 3 each, positive and negative
http://www.webenglishteacher.com/tolkien.html
also good.
http://www.teachers.net/lessons/posts/1347.html is adaptable if you want to do a movie connection, I believe.
thanks for your link!
*hug*
Doll, I think you are stunning. I’d like to know how you lost weight, so that, if its safe, I might try it.
Positives
1. your face… smile. eyes. you … wow.
2. I love the way your body interacts with itself and others. You have such grace and poise.
3. Your hands and arms… yes its kind of the same as two but thats ok.. I love the way you move and the strength in them.
Negatives
1. Rather than about your body, the way you present it. We need to go shopping together and pick up some clothes that flatter you better.
2. Your eyes… not the physical how they lok, but the sorrow and lack of confidence that is there far too often.
3. You should take better care of your hair… its beautiful, but needs more nourishment, a better conditioner, or treatments for curley/dyed hair…
I would love to go shopping and get your input on what is more flattering. I’ve been wearing the same clothes since junior high and my body has shifted a lot since then. It would be nice to get some input.
I try and try and try to do stuff for my hair. I have tried every product under the sun and nothing seems to help much.
http://www.tlhs.org/ has some info about oiling hair in the haircare section… Yes it a site for long hair, but a lot of the stuff also applies to curley, which dries out as easily.
Plus I like pimping this site.
I do have semi-long hair. I will look into it! Thank you!
Oh, and I lost weight doing Weight Watchers.
I was the most fanatical thing you’ve ever seen about it. I also started exercising. I started going to the gym and I started dancing. I went from no exercise to about 5 hours a week. It was really good.
I REALLY dislike this line of discussion. I don’t think it’s productive to have weak points put under a magnifying glass. Especially when they aren’t necessarily things that can be changed.
I have stretch marks across my back that I can’t do anything about. I have acne scars on my face that I really don’t feel good about. Does having people point them out to me make them any different? No. I already know they’re there. Actually it would make me feel worse and even more self conscious to have people pointing out my physical “flaws.”
I think most people have a pretty good idea what is “wrong” with them. I don’t think you’re going to learn anything by letting people humiliate you by putting you up in front of everybody an poking at you with a laser pointer. Graaaar. Are you trying to depress yourself?
You have how you feel. I have how I feel. Why do you have the right to tell me that what I am ok with hearing isn’t ok?
I have every right to express my opinion. You have every right to disagree with my opinion. I don’t like the suggestion that I can’t speak my mind – I don’t see how it’s wrong for me to give you that opinion as an answer.
If you hate it so much, don’t read it. *shrug*
You didn’t just express your opinion. You told me that I would be humiliated by people saying these things about me. That is telling me how I should feel. I don’t feel humiliated at all. I don’t find it depressing.
I think that saying, “Hey!! Give me compliments!!” Makes the resulting responses hollow. They aren’t telling me a rounded view of what they thing. Ok, it would bother you to do this. So don’t. *shrug*
I haven’t minded being told, “Your dressing isn’t always flattering,” or “Your teeth are crooked and if it bothers you you can get braces,” or “You have stretch marks that sometimes disrupt the line of your figure,” or “If you exercised your torso more it would make the transition from upper body to lower body more smooth.”
These things are ~true~. Why should I be humiliated or depressed by them?
I guess you have more self esteem than me. *I* would find it depressing and humiliating. I would have a really hard time opening myself up to this kind of analysis, I think mostly because I feel like I can’t change most things about *me* that I don’t like, so pointing them out just feels hopeless. I guess I’m the insecure one. Who knew.
But really – I really hate it when you couch things in the phrasing of what right I have to say things. You’ve done it to me before when we get into areas that we disagree on and it really upsets and hurts me.
If you would have said that to me, I would not have responded the same way. You would have been speaking for yourself and your feelings and that is 100% valid and I completely support that.
I tell you that you don’t have the right to say things to me because you tell me things in ways that are setting yourself up as the authority and you tell me how I should feel/think/behave and you don’t have that right. No one does.
You always have the right to speak for yourself. You never have the right to tell me what I should be doing. You can say, “I don’t think that is a good idea…” but you are not allowed to tell me that I shouldn’t do something because I will be humiliated.
It’s a boundary.
I think I *did* say it EXACTLY in terms of how *I* would feel. And honestly, I would expect everything I say to be taken as my *opinion* – I say what I *think* – this doesn’t mean I am expecting you to *do* what I say. I *never* said “stop it – you’re being bad” – I said “I don’t like this – I wouldn’t like hearing this about me.”
I have NEVER EVER told you NOT to do something. I only tell you what I think about things and how I perceive things, and I listen to what you tell me in return. As I said, I would request that you refrain from assuming I’m telling you what to do. I don’t do that. I often get perceived that way though, and it’s a sore spot for me and I don’t know what to do about it.
That was my problem.
I will work on my assumptions. I own that I have a problem with assuming people are being more critical than they intend to be.
When I was about 12 I had this realization, “If I have the same problem with everyone I meet, it can’t always be someone else’s problem.”
Thus–I need to work more on my assumptions about people being more bossy than they are being. I will try.
OK.
I’m sorry.
Y’know, Spanish is great because they bother to delineated between YOU (tu) and Y’all (Uds.). I understand that it seemed more personal and bossier than it should have.
I REALLY can’t emphasize enough how much it means to me that you remain rational enough to hear me out. It it HUGE for me to have spats that end relatively quickly and with civility. I’m not used to that. It is really something I value a lot. I feel like we’re having a really weird private conversation in public right now, but since it’s out here, whatever. 🙂 I’ve gone through a whole stupid rollercoaster of emotions over this. I’m a dork. I love you.
I love you.
Dorks are cute. 😉
*hugs*
I am sorry I jumped down your throat. It wasn’t necessary. Thank you for tolerating me and my bitchiness.
*double hugs*
*looking around* Uh – I notice I managed to bring all other commenting to a screeching halt. So uh – yeah – carry on.
I have to agree with that hearing only positive with no negative makes the positive feel hollow. It means I wind up “thinking around” it, trying to figure out what I should work on by what people aren’t complimenting me on.
Specific complaints/recommendations work much better and are much simpler.
I haven’t spent any time studying you nude, so I can’t comment on the particulars. Nonetheless, I did note something that might amuse you.
After all the times I’ve seen you, I just realized that you wear glasses. I never notice them when they are on your face. They are nice though, so I’ll pay more attention next time.
By the way, something funny I noticed – in the “marks” photo – I hope the photo taker doesn’t mind having their penis on the internet. 🙂 Heehee.
let me see if I care…
nope.
And I mean that with a grin. 🙂
Now I’m afraid I’ve seen something I didn’t expect to. Snort!
Anyhoo
Here’s my two cents. Faults are subjective. They really are. Stretch marks are maps of your history, a record of the fact you are alive. DItto for scars. My scars are a language that tells the story of what I have gone through, and the proof that I made it out alive. Short hips, long hips…quirky teeth bIg ass, tiny breasts, large nipples, thin mouth, full lips… What has always been sexy to me is the pride with which a woman carries herself.
Darlin’, your body is incredible. Soft breasts, lick-able tummy, bite-able mouth, thighs made for grabbing, high round ass, and tumbles of soft curls…good for the grabbing.
The only thing I regret about your body is that I will never get my fist in your cunt. *sigh*
Also, that I don’t get to see your body very often.
Re: Anyhoo
We should discuss this “never get your fist in my cunt” thing…
You have tiny hands. I would be up for negotiating that. We need to speak with your boy…
I haven’t read other comments, I just want to say that. I find that sometimes reading the comments on this type of thing can feel very influencing.
So, 3 good things, 3 bad things. I’m ignoring the part about your “body” being only your physical matter because I’m a woo woo kinda girl and I think it is your brain, body, spirit, energy connection that makes you, you.
Good:
1. your spunk! you give off such high energy, it’s fun to be around you.
2. your hair. Dark curls on hot girls. I like it, it’s one of my things.
3. your ass. Especially in latex. 😉
Less Good: (this is all relative right?)
1. your spunk! 😉 kidding, the right word is probably, hyper emotionality. Hell, I’ve got the same thing going on. you are a roller coaster girl, just like me. just like so many people I love. What does that mean? I’m attracted to it, but it can be draining.
2. your glasses at times distract me from your pretty eyes and all that expression in your face
3. your sadness. I wish this for so many people, I wish I could make the pain go away, the frustrations, self doubts, worries.. but, life doesn’t work that way. And while again, I believe I am attracted to intense people who often experience this, it can be a bit draining.
I thought you were going to be in my neighborhood this weekend? Is that still true?
First: I think you are the only person ever to say that me wearing glasses is a negative. I am told over and over that they “look right” on me. 🙂 Interesting.
Yes I will be up there. I’m arriving Friday night and going to a party. Saturday during the day I am hanging out with a fellow for a little while then going to Dad’s for that party. I am driving home on Sunday because there is an event down here Sunday night and there is this guy and…. yeah. I’m a big dork. (I’ve had a crush on this guy for like three years and he seems to have finally noticed me and I want him to notice me and… yeah. I’m a big dork.)
At the risk of being nosey
Hey! Is that *the* guy?- You know the one I’m thinking.
Okay, I’ll bite
(um, I mean at the making comments despite not knowing you all that well. Other biting negotiable later.)
positives:
I like your smile. I like that it spreads happiness all over your face and other people’s too. And, for me, crooked teeth are actually a part of the plus of the smile, because it says to me that you can be happy NOW and as you are. You don’t have to achieve “perfection” to be happy.
The color of your complexion, esp. in that Ireland photo and with that hair color. Major yum.
there is a part of your chest, above your sternum, above your cleavage, that is just really appealling. I don’t know what it is exactly, and but I found myself noticing it in several of the photos.
negatives:
your posture seems to be sad, or indicate that you are somehow disconnected.
you don’t seem to know how to be pretty– you can do “notice me!” or “don’t notice me”, but you don’t seem comfortable with being pretty.
um, since I need to do three, I will do so…your ass and thighs. They are too far away from me, and when they are near, they are covered.
Re: Okay, I’ll bite
Positives:
1:I actually think that is why I like it as well. I think that is why people respond to me. 🙂 Yay for responding!
2,3: Thank you! 🙂 I don’t think anyone has noticed that part of my chest before….
Negatives:
My posture is awful. I know it.
I don’t think I am “pretty.” I am animated and engaging, and those aren’t the same thing. If you took my picture when I am just kind of existing and put it on a wall, people wouldn’t say “pretty”. I am however, a fun, loving, engaging person and people respond to that. But yeah. I do too much of the “notice me” crap. *sigh* Working on that.
I freakin snarfed on the last one. That really hurt. It was awesome though.
Thank you. I am totally smiling now.
Re: Okay, I’ll bite
Um, I’m not sure if I didn’t successfully communicate what I was trying to communicate, or if, for some reason, you don’t want to hear it.
I think you are utterly *capable* of being pretty.
I also wasn’t meaning to say that you do too much “notice me”, but merely that if you want to be attractive or sexy or nice to look at, you don’t seem to know how to do it in moderation. Moderation isn’t always required, but it is sometimes useful.