So in the past 40-ish hours I have been with the Puppy for all but about 9 hours. How in the world did that happen? And how did I never get irritated with him? And why was it so freakin hard to let him leave? And he didn’t want to leave–I basically had to push him out the door because he really needed to go to work. We are both a bit blown away by this. And before he will step out the door he has to ask, “When do I get to see you next?”

For the past two nights I have been having trouble sleeping… but not because I am having trouble sleeping. Because I keep initiating sex in my sleep and then we do some serious making out and heavy petting and then we both kind of screech with frustration and pull away and try to go back to sleep. I think we are both about ready to stop waiting. HA! We need to have sex because we need to be able to freakin sleep! And right now… yeah… we are both feeling a wee bit frustrated with wanting one another and not following up on it. It’s been a little bit since I have had sex with anyone. I am about to crawl the walls. He asked me a question this morning that was uhm…. kind of hard for me to answer. He said, “Since this is potentially your last chance for a while to have sex with other people, why aren’t you going nuts sleeping with as many of your partners as possible?” “Because I don’t want sex. I want to have sex with you.” His ego is getting out of control. Ha. 🙂 It is kind of weird. Because I have been thinking about the fact that this really is likely to be my last chance to sleep with others for a while and I just don’t want to. I have been thinking longingly about Noah and Akien in particular as I am about to kill the motor on my poor Hitachi, and yet… I don’t want to call them. I don’t know why. I somehow seem to think it would be disloyal–even though it wouldn’t be.

Our conversation about female partners was rather heated as well. He gave me the “girls don’t count” line about continuing my relationships with women and was a bit blown away by how vehemently I informed him that yes they do count and he should be more worried by my being with women than by my being with men. It was quite a conversation. Eventually we reached the conclusion that though women don’t hit the same insecurity sensors in his brain, I consider monogamy monogamy. And that is that. So yeah. It was interesting.

This could be a long thing. That is terrifying me, yet I feel so comfortable with him. Just breathe. I am so glad that there are some big factors that are preventing this from getting any more intense than it already is. Namely: we both have insane schedules and we just aren’t able to spend any more time together than we do. Although I have basically reached the conclusion that I probably won’t be doing any Renn Faire’s this summer. I have so much going on already and I think it would be more stress for me than fun. Not to mention that I can’t make any pryactices before the summer is well under way and my perfectionist nature doesn’t like to think about going as part of a performance troupe when I don’t know the dances. I am starting to look into summer job type things because it will be nice to have more money and stuff to do when the semester ends. I am actually thinking that after spring break I will start looking for a job anyway just because scheduling didn’t end up the way I had anticipated and I have a little more time than I really need to sit around. And I want toys. 🙂 I’m thinking about taking off for spring break though, so I’m not going to do it before then. It seems really weird to me that there are only two weeks of school left after spring break. I should probably do a bunch of homework next two weeks and be basically done for the semester by spring break. That wouldn’t suck. And I have Wednesdays and Thursdays back. (After looking at my green sheets…)

This is my challenge to myself: I want to be completely done with all possible assigments (there is one I can’t do yet) by March 24th. This gives me 15 days. I have at least 7 days in which I can spend 6+ hours on this work. I can do this. No problem. And then I can delightfully slack for the remaining 3 weeks. 🙂 Yay! I like challenges.

Oh: I have been going to the gym a lot. I am sore. I also feel a bit better than I have been feeling. It is goodness. Due to funkiness about food selections I have had meat like 5 times in the past 6 weeks and I’m ok with that, but I am still trying to avoid meat in general. I don’t know how much longer this is going to go on. I’m feeling physically really good though. I think part of it is that I have been putting good stuff into my body through trying really hard to be consciously balanced in my eating.