I will spend a few minutes saying stuff that isn’t nasty.
No one here is really that bad. His dad is a lot like him and therefore funny (though he would be more funny if he wasn’t mumbling and I could hear him) and the step-mother is very nice and the mom is certainly polite enough. In his dad’s house they are running around trying to prep for a wedding and so they aren’t going to slow down to talk to some random chick who happens to be in their house. His mom doesn’t get out much (she has few friends and telecommutes) so frankly, I’m not shocked that her conversation skills aren’t that developed past politics (her passion).
As was pointed out today I’m not just worrying about whether or not they like me. I am wondering if I am willing to put up with these people for a good many years and deal with them through holidays and have them be part of my childrens’ family and therefore mine. I really don’t know yet.
A lot of my shit and pissiness comes from a few distinct points: namely that I am exhausted, over-tired, and I haven’t been able to eat anything that feels “right” since I got here probably mostly owing to the heat. I’m really not at my best or most patient right now anyway and that has nothing to do with them. They all seem like decent people but it will take some warming up. That’s ok. From what Puppy tells me (his words, not mine) his aunt is going to be a raging bitch and I just need to pretend she isn’t around and I should thank my lucky stars that his grandmother is dead. He actually said that. Apparently she didn’t like anyone who had the temerity to marry one of her boys. No one could ever be good enough and she went out of her way to make the poor womens’ lives miserable. Good to know. (Insert singing of “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” here.)
Yeah. So they aren’t really that bad. They are just quirky in the way that families are. Tonight we are pushing the twin beds together and not making a fuss over it. I figure that I am still new so they have no reason to really think I am going to last yet. (Well, other than the fact that if he likes someone for more than two months he tends to marry them.) So here I sit, by myself. Reading and wanting to poke you bastards for not talking more on YIM or AIM. I hates you all.
T and I have been together for nearly 15 years. I haven’t met any of his family. I could have met his dad however I’m not ready for that. I would have to punch him and let him know he owes me for the extensive repair work that I’ve done.
I’ts really not necessary to give a damn about someones family. Or so I see it.
But T has hung with some of mine: my older sister and little brother, my sisters kids and her husband, my dad. But he didn’t have to and he could have begged off at any time.
It needn’t be so complicated.
It’s true that partners don’t *have* to deal with each other’s families, but it’s quite nice if you can do things together and have a good time, especially if there are kids.
My daughter doesn’t live near any of her extended family, but she has always enjoyed going to visits with grandparents, aunts, and cousins in various states. I think she has a sense of context and connection–from the stories and quirky sense of humor of the New Jersey cops-or-cons side of the family, as well as an empathy and identity related to her Holocaust-survivor grandmother. Even as an only child, she feels she belongs in a larger group.
So yeah, not getting along with the family can be dealt with. But you don’t have to be wild about every individual to get the benefit of the overall scene. I hope for K it turns out to be connected and supportive in the long run.
Well of course if it works out that’s nice. I’m only saying it’s not a necessary thing.
Sorry hun, I was at my very first LARP experience which started around 11, at least that’s when I went there, it ran straight throught to 9:30 and then we went straight to DHP.
Sorry