Yeah, the wedding wasn’t easy. First off was the fact that I didn’t eat enough early in the day and we had to arrive at 4:15 for a 6:30 wedding. (They were doing pictures first and really we didn’t need to be there till 5, but apparently Puppy’s father is always so fucking late that they lied to him about arrival time and he showed up on time for once.) Dinner wasn’t until almost 8. It was blazingly hot and I felt horrible. The ceremony itself was really sweet. It went longer than anyone was happy about (heat, humidity, constant threat of thunder storms…) but I liked the whole thing and found a lot of beauty in seeing the meshing of the cultures. The vows were awesome, “I promise to clean up my dishes in a timely fashion and laugh at your jokes…” “I promise to let you sleep in on the weekends and tell you I love you every night before bed and at other spontaneous times…” The two people getting married seem like they could be cool, not that I will ever get to know them. The groom looked freaked out the whole time and I wasn’t sure what was up with that. Probably part of it was that he had on a tux and then the kittel? over it (which is a robe thing that he will keep and wear throughout his life for ceremonial stuff). He was sweating buckets.
I sat by myself in front of this young couple (they are both English teachers) who were making dirty comments before the ceremony. Girl: “I am so sticky and wet.” Guy: “Cool!” She blushed three shades of red; it was very charming.
I felt really on the outside; I didn’t really know anyone and that felt awkward. His father has basically stopped acknowledging my presence and that is a problem.
During the reception Puppy and I talked about taking his younger brothers and the two elderly infirm men in the family home so that the others could stay and enjoy the party. When Puppy suggested this to his dad he was told no because his strength was needed to load up the vehicle later so he couldn’t go. He said I could go home with the nasty aunt and crew instead. I didn’t do this though. Instead I threw a temper tantrum (well, I told Puppy in a very unhappy voice, “Oh that sounds fun” and got up and left the table and wandered off into the woods) and spent almost an hour by myself. Puppy eventually found me while I was on the phone with Japlady and we talked about the shit that was going on. I took her advice and told him about how his family has been treating me. He told me that I am misinterpreting, that there is no way they are actually treating me that way and he wishes that he could help me fix the part of me that is broken and sees insult in everything. I let the situation go and he and I actually had a lot of fun together at the wedding.
We spent most of our time wandering in the woods and we had sex and several blow jobs and I took my clothes off and he dumped water on me (dear god was that good) and we talked and kissed and played. Eventually we danced to the band and had cake and between the two of us we had a lot of fun. (We did the polka and West coast swing and east coast swing and cross-step waltz–he is massively improving.)
When the party was finally winding down his dad made a number of really nasty comments about, “I don’t know how I am going to load everything in with three people… This is so much harder than it has to be…” Really he was being an asshole. I almost suggested that I go home with the step-mom because she was alone in her car and didn’t have much of anything in it. But I didn’t, and there was a huge amount of empty space in the SUV anyway so he was just being a dick. On the ride home he completely ignored every single thing I said. I felt really shitty. When we got home and crawled into bed Puppy told me that I was right about how his dad was treating me and he has no idea what is motivating it. They are spending the day together today because I am going to go spend the day in DC by myself (anything to get away from this treatment) and Puppy said he is going to ask his dad about it because it isn’t ok. I don’t really want to cause strife between them, but I also don’t appreciate being treated this way.
I feel like I don’t know what to do. Puppy has been basically pleading with me since the day we got here to respond naturally and actually say the things I would normally say because he believes that is the only way his family will respect me. I have been doing so and now his father (and the step-mom stopped speaking to me as well by late last night) is treating me like a pariah. I don’t get to leave for five more days and I am going to be spending two of them in an RV with the whole fucking family. This seems like a recipe for disaster to me. *sigh* I just want to cry.
Why don’t you get to leave for five more days?
That’s when the plane ticket is.
There is nothing that says you have to stay, you know. Why don’t you come home?
Exactly. Plane tickets are not engraved in stone.
::hugs::
sorry you are having such a shitty time.
I think it’s a really good thing that Puppy is willing to ask his dad about they way you’ve been treated. It means, IMO, that he loves you and isn’t willing to see you mis-treated no matter who is causing it.
And don’t worry too much about the whole “marrying the family” thing. they live far away and will only intrude on your life a couple times a year, if that often. Just be sure to plan on some snarking time after every phone call.
I wouldn’t leap to conclusions about Puppy being willing to defend me. The conversation doesn’t seem to have happened and more really shitty things have happened right in front of him and he didn’t say anything.
hmmm… at least he isn’t defending them?
family stuff sucks so hard… there’s always years, sometimes generations, of resentment, and bruises that certain people punch every time they see each other. getting thrown into the middle of that without a road map is tough.
::more hugs::
Um, wrong-o on the “not marrying the family” thing. Unless Puppy is willing to cut them out of his life (unlikely–he doesn’t even have the balls to defend from direct insults by his family), they’re in his life.