Why do people that I live with prefer masturbation to sex with me within 6 months?
Why do people that I choose as long term partners feel that I am simply too much to deal with?
Why do people that I fall in love with appreciate how physically affectionate I am in the first few months and then complain that I am too clingy?
Why am I apprently such a drain on people’s resources that they simply cannot abide my presense?
Why do I date?
Why do I keep wanting a relationship?
Why fucking bother.
I’ve been thinking of that since you IM’d me, I remember where they talk about how children will masterbate because its comforting…. maybe thats why he’s doing it maybe its not sexual
It’s my opinion that there is a trial and error process when it comes to finding long-term (dare I say permanent?) partners*. The partner you’ve got may be The One for you, or he may not, I don’t know. What I do know is that there’s usually a learning process to this, and you’re not very far into that process yet. That doesn’t mean this part of that process doesn’t *suck out loud*, because it does. But it does mean you should cut yourself a little slack and understand that you’re doing the best you can with all the information – about both your needs and what you’ve got to offer, and who to offer it to – that you currently have.
So just keep asking yourself those questions…
*I know some people seem to get it right first crack out of the box. Some people win the lottery, too. But most people don’t.
I have no idea what happened, and I’m really sorry things aren’t going well.
*hug*
I do want to say, though, that for me at least, I can masturbate without it really being sexual, and without being in the mood for sex. I realize it’s somewhat weird, but I’m sure I’m not the only one. For me 5-10 minutes with my hitachi may mimic some of sex, but it’s not remotely the same thing – it’s for relaxing, making myself able to fall asleep, or getting rid of cramps. Kinda like a drink before bed except with less liver damage and more wrist strain.
I struggle with it a bit, because I’ve been having a lot of issues with my sex drive, but I refuse to feel guilty for continuing to masturbate at times when I don’t want to engage in sex with anyone.
Anyway, I just wanted to make the comment, because I’m aware that my separation of sex and masturbation is unusual and *if* that’s a part of your current situation it might be a useful point of view.
And I hope things get better again.
People fail honey, people disappoint. It is not always so but sex is also intimacy often and in relationships it definately can be. I don’t believe its that you aren’t desirable honey, it’s more likely that intimacy can be overwhelming sometimes.
I know I am often too much for anyone.
I also know that there are times that anyone at all, except maybe my cat is too much for me.
My partner is often too much, I am often too much for him. But we deal. We take space if we need it and we both complain when we aren’t getting enough of each other.
The thing is that being individuals we want the same things often but at different times. When it all syncs that rocks. But that is grace, mercy is all. One can’t count on that. So at least I try to expect it and when we don’t sync I try to be patient.
Hugs beautiful you.
Hugs and love.
big ditto on that
Intimacy does strange things to people – suddenly everything is bigger, more invested and much more frightening.
Some handle it better than others. Some handle it better at different times.
You are a handful, a wonderful, luscious handful.
No answers here, but want you to know I care –
*hug*
(hugs) Relationships are hard. It’s not just you.
I’m sorry you’re hurting. You deserve better from life than this pain. *hugs*