sad

I had a weird/pissy exchange with a Pryankster tonight. It resulted in me being sulky for most of the rest of the night. Right before I left we talked a bit about what happened and how we can avoid both of us getting nasty again in the future and basically kissed and made up.

But I still feel all icki inside. I want to cry. I feel very lonely. I don’t know why it hit me so hard. What was so damn triggering about it? We were poking at each other and then he slapped my arm really hard. There is still a faint hand print almost four hours later. When I reacted in a displeased way he said I deserved it. He had started the poking though and I thought it was playing. I feel very rejected and punished for playing. I don’t like this feeling at all. And now I’m crying.

I’m really just not happy right now. And I get to go climb into my bed by myself. 🙁 I want snuggles and I can’t have them. Today, living alone sucks.

12 thoughts on “sad

  1. anima_fauxsis

    Slapping = not okay… unless you’ve said it was okay in that kind of way, but otherwise no. Lord, what a jerk. I’m sorry you feel so awful. It seems like maybe you compromised too much of yourself in the kiss and make -up?

    Reply
    1. japlady

      what she said

      He slapped you hard enough to leave a hand print for an extended amount of time and it wasn’t concentual? There IS NO EXCUSE for that.

      Reply
    2. Krissy Gibbs Post author

      He slapped my arm, not my face or anything. I know that doesn’t really make it totally ok, but it does make it less bad…

      I don’t know if I compromised myself too much or not.

      Reply
      1. japlady

        if it was hard enough to leave said handprint I would have SO been all over his ass, not to mention broadcasting it so the full weight of peer pressure would fall on it as well

        Reply
      2. barelyproper

        it makes it no less bad. In some ways worse, because its in a place that can be hidden if it bruised. It also makes it just as bad because it still hurts, even if not in a physical way. You may want to talk to this person about how they broke your trust, and the fact that now they will have to earn it back, if you even want to let them.

        Reply
    3. labelleizzy

      ditto what she said, also he said “you deserved it”?

      HAY-ell no! way past jerk into asshole range, methinks. Not acceptable.

      you deserve nicer more respectful treatment than that.

      grrrr. *hackles raised toward annoying boy*

      Reply
      1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

        I really wouldn’t call him an asshole. He wasn’t having the greatest day and he reacted poorly. That does not an asshole make.

        Reply
        1. labelleizzy

          ok, fair, extenuating circumstances fine, but leaving a frickin’ handprint w/o permission is past what I consider kosher. *hackles slightly mollified but still raised*

          Reply
  2. brehen

    *when think I am over-reacting…*I look at the calender and see that my period is coming up…*Is yours?

    It used to not be this way, but as I go up in human years it gets worse.

    However, even if you are reacted hard because of hormones…it does not negate your initial emotion…You are valid in how you feel…it just looks a lot brighter right now.

    I know it sucks to sleep alone. I slept alone last night, too.

    Reply
    1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

      I sleep alone almost every night these days. It is rare that I sleep with someone.

      Yeah… I should be starting on Monday…

      Reply
  3. blacksheep_lj

    What everybody said….a slap that leaves a mark is a HARD slap and without permission is totally wrong. Big hugs. I wish I could offer a real snuggle.

    Reply

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