I noticed something today as I read through your journal. You said before that you don’t think I am a 6 because you don’t think I operate from fear really. I suspect you are right. You really do make many if not most of your decisions based from fear. In looking at your decisions mine look so different. I am not afraid of being alone the way you are. I’m just not. Sure, I have had morose moments where I thought I would always be alone but that never motivated me to go out and do something about it. I have almost never been single but I think that is more about the fact that I just like people and they like me. I go out and do things just cause I want to and that gets me noticed. You don’t work that way. You go out and say, “How can I make people notice me.”
Hm. Yeah. Interesting.
Its true. I like people individually. I have a very mixed relationship with people in groups. But I work very hard to ignore that and not just do the obvious thing (treat people in groups as kinda second-class because I just dont like them as well that way) because it winds up seeming weird and antisocial.
I think very hard and very consciously about how I deal with people because I really dont like the reactions people have to me doing it naturally. And yes, that is absolutely a result of being afraid. Some of it is a reaction to past experiences. I think some is just my natural temperment.
This is kind of a funny thing because I used to like groups a lot and I don’t seem to anymore and I’m not entirely sure I understand what happened. Somewhere in the past couple of years I have developed an introvert streak.
WTF?
Hey–wanna stay home with me and avoid large groups for a bit? 🙂 I’m sure I can entertain you!
*grin*
You know I do 🙂