An idea was tossed out last night which I am going to be right about in the long run. Not a terrible thing.

Lately I have been having the sleep schedule from hell. I wake up at 6am which means I need to go to bed fairly early. And seeing as I am married to a conversation studmuffin (I wish I had a link handy to the comic, but I suck.) this means I need to head to bed even before I need to fall asleep. The goal was to have time for sex as well but I’m lame and exhausted most of the time. I am getting awesome snuggles though.

I’m feeling drained and beaten down even though I am generally happy. I feel like I don’t have the storehouses of energy reserves that allow me to handle any extra stress. So I cancelled working at the Folsom Fringe event because I am just too fucking tired. We are cancelling this weekends Disneyland trip mainly for financial reasons (and hey–we’re going in December), but honestly I feel so much relief that I won’t have to deal with it energy wise. I miss my friends but I feel too tired to do anything. Don’t get me wrong–I love my life. I really love my job and the mellowness that is happening with Noah is great. I just feel pretty sharply the difference in how social I used to be. I’m used to lots of social contact and playing and seeing people and I’m having trouble adjusting.

I probably could do more than I do, I just feel… drained. Being anti-social seems necessary for the forseeable future. I need to get a bit further ahead in lesson planning. I need to find a rhythm for grading papers that allows me to get it done and doesn’t stress me out. I need to figure out a system for getting chores done. I need to get my house to a level where I don’t feel anxious about it. So many needs. I wonder when I can get back to wants.