Monthly Archives: January 2007

Holy Shit.

I had a parent call during 5th period. I told him I was in the middle of teaching and I would call back during lunch. His kid came in during the first 1-3 minutes of lunch and dropped off the essay that is due today. I called the parent back and the parent said that he is very concerned because the essay that is about to be turned in is very very disturbing. I said that I would read it right now and call back. So I did. Yeah, this essay is seriously disturbing. It is full of, “I hate everyone. There is no such thing as friendship. People will be better off if they are killed. I want to die because my life is pointless.” Nine fucking pages of this. With graphic descriptions of how people should be killed.

I called his father back to talk about it. The kid told his dad that school ended at noon today, but that was a lie. The kid told me when he dropped off the paper that he had an appointment and wouldn’t be in class. And he isn’t here.

The police have been notified. The school is looking for him. His father is calling every person who has ever known him.

I freaked out and put up posters covering my windows so you can’t see in from the outside. I usually keep my door unlocked so it can be opened without even turning the door handle and right now it is locked. My students are looking at me like I am crazy, but …

I can feel the adrenaline rushing. I didn’t really think I would have days like this at work.

hmmm anyone bored?

I’m making the vocabulary final for my little darlings. I’m also working on making the book test. My brain is being very fried so I thought I would put this up here in case anyone is feeling bored.

Your challenge, should you choose to take it, is to create questions for the final. The test is going to be administered with a scantron for ease of grading. Make one question, five, the whole test… anything would be great. 🙂 The directions and words are below in the cut…

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{small filter} On edge

Recently I had something happen which has lead me to feel very on edge and pissy and angry. I’m not handling it well. I am seething with rage over small and stupid things. I can’t hear anything without feeling like my nose is being rubbed in it (whatever the it is of that second). This is certainly a feeling I have had before, but it has been a while. This angry makes it hard to do anything at all. I’m pretty nervous about kids getting here in less than 20 minutes. I have to completely stuff this. I have to be cheerful and friendly and helpful and I want to curl up in a ball and cry.

The only way I know to get through this is to hold my breath and just wait for it to be over, but that is a lot harder when there is a lot I have to do. I am really angry with myself for reacting this way on top of having trouble with my emotions so it is just one big awful cluster fuck. Today I don’t like me, or much of anyone else. Please God, let today go quickly. This is really hurting.

Back at school.

I got here a little early so I could put my head back on. It hasn’t worked well. I really don’t want to be here. Kids start arriving in my room in about 15 minutes.

I didn’t grade anything over the vacation. I did no prep work. I refuse to feel bad. 🙂 I have a pile about 8″ thick of grading to do and somewhere between 120 and 150 essays being turned in on Friday. These were written in class so they are very likely to actually turn this one in.

For the next 2-3 weeks my whole life is going to be my job. Vacation was great. I’m trying to convince myself that I actually like my job right now… The semester ends in 17 days. I have 22 days to turn in my grades. I wonder if I can have all the grading done in 15 days so that all I have to do at the end is add in the final? That would rock and allow me a 3 day weekend in January. Hmmmm. It would be nice.

I’m babbling to try and convince myself I can do this.

{dirtier} My life is your porn

I kind of want to give a full, dirty, explicit description of what happened, but I’m tired. I got very little sleep. What I will say that this holiday season (I’m pretending that November is not part of the holiday season) was by far the raunchiest two weeks I’ve ever had. A terribly successful foursome was had. Much sex in public. All kinds of depraved things in the privacy of my bedroom including my first ever real live two boys in the lower bits sex.

Wow.

I’m sore.