My fun day at home wasn’t so fun by the end. By early afternoon my head hurt, my neck hurt, and if I move around my stomach let me know that a run to the bathroom was imminent. And, whatever was in my system was letting me know that it wanted out of my system anyway with a lot of pain involved.
Well that rocked. Or something. I slept through most of the afternoon and still went to bed early. I woke up at 3 am and rolled over and noticed that my stomach still hurt enough that even minimal movement is agonizing. So I called in sick to work and Noah drove me down there to deliver lesson plans. Have I mentioned that I love my husband?
When I’m sick I am even more whiney and babyish than usual. So when I got an email from a girl I sorta know this morning asking for references for Tom I nearly cried. I told her that yes, he is very safe and will almost certainly never cross any boundary she has and let it go at that. I didn’t tell her that he is a great casual play partner and a difficult boyfriend. I didn’t tell her that she should stay emotionally uninvolved so that she can walk away when she stops being “new” because his interest will gradually fade anyway. *sigh*
And right now I am feeling the disadvantages of being poly/open/slutty. I’m tired of telling people I am not interested. I want a break from having to deal with being nice in letting people down gently. I always feel guilty and I want to not have that feeling for a while. I’m tired of having to give justification for why I don’t want to play/fuck/date/whatever. Once or twice I’ve said, “Right now I’m just so into my husband that I’m not interested in anyone else” and people follow that up with, “Well, when then?” Excuse me? You just put yourself on the “never” list.
I’ll quite bitching now. I hate being sick.
Peoples expectations are always such a pain.
Sorry about the sick…
Its odd for me…I always assume that the answer is “never” untill the girl or boy crawls into my lap, takes off thier and my clothes, looks me in the eye and says “Now, Please!”.
The funny part of that is that without pursuit people become suprised by toppish behaviour after they have given that solid green light.
Oh well, Noah rocks, you rock, looking forward to seeing you guys again…
Hugs
T.
“Listen I’m newly married and totally in love with husband and right now, so I’m just not interested in seeing anyone but him. Odds are this will last for at least a year or more (scientifically its 2-4 years), so Don’t call us we’ll call you?”
Nah. Asking “So when?” is in bad enough taste as to change the answer to “never”. People in poly should know the “year or more” answer *already*, and just wait.
I’m glad you took the day off, take care of you.
*soft careful hugs for you*
*smooosh*
You needn’t feel guilty. You don’t owe these people a fuck or even an explaination.
Take care o you. I’m glad you’ve got the Noah.
Babble for Health
Hope you’re feeling better & back on your feet!
For the not-interested dilemma, I don’t see anything wrong with a simple, “No, thank you.” Possible expansion on that could be “I’m flattered.”
Should you change your mind in the future, you can and will let them know – but that doesn’t need to be a part of your answer now.
Well, you could just tell the “Well, when, then?” guy you appreciate his showing his true colors *now*, saving you the grief of finding out he’s a jerk *after* you’ve done the play/fuck/date/whatever.
Sleep deprivation makes me bitchy, doesn’t it?
Bitchy from you is kinda cute, actually!