I woke up at 4:30 this morning. I think I woke up so god-awful-early because I was anxious about Noah leaving. My beloved is on his way to Texas. There he will have a less than fun conversation with his parents about the level of involvement (none) they will be allowed to have with our kids. Given that everytime they call his father asks three or four times, “So! Any big news?” I think they anticipate kidlets about as soon as we do. And uhhh yeah. Unfortunately they won’t be involved and we think it is best that they know that before they find out I am pregnant. Because telling them over the phone, “Yeah–we’re pregnant! Oh, and by the way, my mother is abusive and she isn’t allowed to meet my children” would really suck. I don’t envy him this trip. My mother has already been told that she is not likely to be allowed any contact and if there is any at all it will always be supervised heavily.
This stuff is depressing to think about.
I had to sit in the sun for an hour at a teachers appreciation rally. I now have a nasty headache. Ick.
I am home teaching today from 4:30-7. It’s not exactly my idea of a good time though I guess it could be worse. The kid is ok and I’m enjoying what we are doing for history and English. I even feel smart cause I understand the geometry! 🙂
So it’s not the best day ever. It’s also nowhere near the worst day ever so I’m not *really* complaining. 🙂 As much as I already miss Noah, he is coming back on Monday. He loves me and is doing something that is about us building a life together. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.
AND my Julia is going to be here this weekend. I get to spend time with her. It’s always so wonderful to see her. Maybe this time I can manage to not be a freakin spazz. Sometimes it is hard loving someone when things aren’t equal.
If you can’t not *really* complain in your own LJ, where can you?
Glad to hear things are mostly ok with you.
Ya’ know, I didn’t speak to my own parents for so long because I did not want their abusive influence to be shed on my Wifit. It’s only that he is now older and able to stand up for himself that he can have the relationship with them as he enjoys currently. I think that not letting them be in his life made them think…and they now have a greater appreciation for the wonderful being that is known as Wifit.
We still have to check in and talk about things…I don’t agree with what they say sometimes or with how they choose to handle some situations and neither does he…but we don’t have to just take it. We firmly have each other.
Stick to it, you’re doing great!
boundaries
A long time ago, you used to say that you had difficulty setting and sticking to healthy boundaries and limits with people, and I know that you have since worked on this. Reading what you’ve posted above, I’d point out that you’re doing really well here in this instance, and as uncomfortable as it always is to say no to people, I think you can feel good about having the courage to up a necessary healthy boundary in this case, so yay for you.
You’re doing great things. I’m in the midst of this sort of nonsense with my own parents, and they’re currently too obliviously tangled in their own drama to even notice that they’ve cut THEMSELVES out of my baby’s life. Do what you need to do to make sure all those bad things you are able to recognize now don’t get done to your kid. It’s how we try to make the world a little bit better. Grow, heal, and move FORWARD.
boundaries
necessary
Good on both of you for looking after your little one to come.
May you have a lovely, lovely weekend anyhoo.
*hugs*
I love you, and I’m glad you two are so clearly together on the boundaries that are being put into place.