I have a coworker who has hated me almost since I got this job. I never really understood why exactly. I knew about one or two stupid jokes she hadn’t appreciated, but it seemed to be bigger than that. She actually started at the same time I did so it’s been an interesting two years of working with her. Today I sucked up my courage after school and asked her about the situation. At first she kind of tried to brush me off by claiming the past is the past so she could avoid talking about it. I persisted and pushed her to talk to me about why she hates me so much. When she finally told me I could tell that they were things she has held close to her heart and nourished as damn fine reasons to hate me. I don’t blame her, I did some shitty things in her direction. It seriously deflated her anger when I explained my behavior and apologized. She looked flat shocked that I wasn’t defensive or pissy about her accusing me of all manner of bitchy awful things. It was really good and I’m glad I did it. By the end she told me that she has actually had a hard time staying mad at me because overall she likes my personality–it was just too hard to let go of being mad.

That was a hard thing. I’m glad I did it.

And I’m on track for early completion of my BTSA hellishness. I’m still behind on grading, but not too bad at this point. This weekend is probably going to be spent working. Oh. Joy. 🙂 Actually… I’m not too upset. I’ve had very me-centered weekends for a few in a row and I’ll be quite cheerful about going back to being focused on my job when I have more energy. It’s hard to work after school for as long as I need to. And it’s getting harder as my energy is going down.