I haven’t said much in detail about the Lizard since November. I figure it’s ok for me to bring up again. 🙂
Pregnancy has gotten much much better. I guess that I did hit the second trimester honeymoon, or at least as much of one as I am getting. I still don’t feel great, but I feel ok most days. I’m still really exhausted and I’m not handling stress well. At least I feel less pukey. I keep reading pregnancy boards and wanting to get involved in discussions but I can’t get past my, “People–for the love of GOD, LEARN HOW TO SPELL!!!” I know I make typos occasionally and once in a while I even out-and-out spell something wrong, but it’s not constant and pervasive. I do know basic words. And I find myself resistant to getting on any board that has a lot of active teenage parents. It squicks me. I probably shouldn’t be so judgmental, but I can’t handle it. Those are my students, not my peers.
I’m feeling the baby frequently and sometimes really intensely. I think I’ve figured out what the occasional crampy bits are–Braxton Hicks contractions. Oh goody! I’ve been having them for a couple of weeks and they are bizarre. I had gotten up to one pound above my pre-pregnancy weight! Then Francesca died. Uhm, now I’m back to a couple of pounds below. Eating is so not my friend. I just can’t swing enough bulk. This is a bizarre change in my life. Some of my students from last year are commenting that my face and arms are actually looking thinner, which I find kind of funny.
At this point probably the biggest irritation I still have is that I feel useless when it comes to doing a lot of things. Not being allowed to lift more than 25 pounds puts a serious crimp in my life. 🙁 That said, Noah is being so wonderfully cheerful about doing things that I can’t even complain much about that. I would like to take this moment and bow down to the gods of pregnancy and say that if my time for seriously feeling crappy is over that I am deeply grateful. So far this stage has been really easy compared to the last stage. 🙂
I think that is most of what I haven’t squeed about lately.
“At this point probably the biggest irritation I still have is that I feel useless when it comes to doing a lot of things. Not being allowed to lift more than 25 pounds…”
Huh….Creating a new life or being able to lift over 25 pounds? I think that you “win” when it comes to being useful! I’m just sayin’….
Ouch.
“And I find myself resistent to getting on any board that has a lot of active teenage parents. It squicks me. I probably shouldn’t be so judgmental, but I can’t handle it. Those are my students, not my peers.”
Okay. Honest enough. Just remember, you’re running out of days when all teens are your students, and … teen parents benefit greatly from the healthy modeling of other adults around them. The age difference between you and them is minimal, really.
Alright, I’ll set my personal identity issues aside and acknowledge the world isn’t all about me. 😉 Just a gentle nudge. I love you for being able to hear these things.
… and you spelled resistant wrong.
I miss you lots, I’ve had a dramatic emotional drop in the last few days that I don’t like what so ever. Good news is, I’ve finally watched more than 10 minutes of “The L Word”, I must finally be queer.
Re: Ouch.
Ha! Ok… I fixed the word. (I’m mostly irritated by words like ‘u’ and ‘r’.)
I actually thought of you as I wrote this and I suspected you would have about this reaction. I’m aware that teen parents need to see healthy modeling but to me there is a difference between healthy modeling and being in the same place as someone else. I do healthy modeling all the time and don’t have a problem with it. (Uhm, at least I like to tell myself I am doing it…) I know that this is something that I should work on in general as far as judgment goes. I’m not really in a place where I feel superior, but I do feel like my experience is very different from the ones I am reading about. That makes me hesitate to say anything. I also don’t like the constant confrontational attitude I see from many of the teenagers. It seems to be more prevalent than from the “grown ups”. I’ve been that confrontational teenager so I don’t think that what they are doing is terrible or awful, but it does remind me that I’m not in a place in my life where I want to deal with that anymore.
It’s a thing. I would probably also have less of a problem dealing said teenagers in person. Everyone is more of an asshole online. 🙂
Re: Ouch.
I have a really hard time being buddy-buddy with pregnant teens. The recent pregnancy of our neighbors 13 year old daughter (who had her baby last month at 32 weeks – baby is healthy and adopted out) has reinforced this feeling. I’m happy to model behaviors and offer advice, but it’s just a different issue. It’s also the reason I am reluctant too see Juno, which everyone tells me is great, but I see as potentially glamorizing teen pregnancy. A subject I find decidedly not cute.
Re: Ouch.
I’m appalled at the mere IDEA of Juno, I don’t even know the plot other than the stupid radio trailers that present her as a happy go lucky, I fucked up and so what spoiled teen – which is clearly not the way it goes. I’m horrified that the trailer ends with, “bring the kids, bring the family!” WTF?
So yeah, I do understand on many levels.
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I’ve never heard of Juno and the brief comments here don’t make me want to find out more.
I think that at least a little of both of us having the boundaries we have is because of working with teenagers. Do you think you would feel as strongly if you hadn’t worked at a high school for so long? (Not a challenge, just trying to figure out why we have as strong of a reaction as we do.)
Re: Ouch.
I definitely think you’ve been doing healthy modeling for teens. But, it’s not something you have to do all the time — that is, you are allowed to have some “time off” from being a healthy model to just be a pregnant mom-to-be. If you had joined the pregnancy boards with the intent to be a healthy model, that would be different. But you didn’t. You joined to see if you could get some personal benefit out of it. Nothing wrong with that.
I’m really glad you’re feeling better – I was getting worried about you. I’d thought a few times about sending you some “feel better soon” flowers, but wasn’t sure whether you were having problems with scents.
Re: Ouch.
😀 I always love flowers. My smell sensitivity seems to have been brief and mostly centered around fish and lavender. An interesting combination… 🙂
Yeah, feeling better is great.
I’m sorry your pregnancy has been such a displeasure. I’m glad that you posted and update though because it’s nice to see what I have to look forward to! Arg.
Good luck with the weight gain…I’mm having trouble keeping it on too, I was hoping it would get better. At least the rage seems more manageable at the moment!
My moods have plateaued quite a bit in the past couple of weeks even with the massive upheavels. I am more inclined to get sad feeling than angry and even that I can talk myself out of in just a few minutes most of the time.
have you heard of Brain, Child magazine? It’s got thoughtful articles and is aimed at folks who love being parents, but aren’t part of the “ZOMG! Baybeez!” set.
this doesn’t help with the message board problem, but they might lead you to blogs of cool people at least.
I pop by and read the occasional article even though I don’t have kids.
I haven’t heard of it, but I will go check it out. Thank you!