Pittsburgh is cold.
Victorian houses are pretty.
I have massive inferiority complexes.
I don’t maintain an even temperament well when my sleep schedule is completely fucked up.
My cat really misses me when I am gone for the weekend.
I lap up praise from professors like it is the best ice cream on the planet.
And then, completely randomly, I was thinking about this other thing…
Once upon a time, when I was younger and I want to say more idealistic–really I was just more judgmental–I believed that I would never ever have sex when someone else wanted to but I was not really all that into it. I thought this was a horrible thing that might as well be rape. (I have some issues in this area.) But as my body has freaked out during pregnancy and my normal sexual responses just can’t be counted on anymore I find my interest waning to a level that isn’t healthy for my relationship. So sometimes I push myself to get interested, damnit when my body isn’t inclined to go there on its own. I’m still trying to figure out exactly how I feel about this. On one hand I feel like taking one for the team is some sort of betrayal to myself and my body. On the other hand–dude, it so makes my life and relationship better. It’s not like I *hate* it or anything, I’m just not nearly so enthusiastic as I am when not pregnant. It would help if I didn’t strain muscles in my bloody abdomen from being at the wrong angle just a little too long. I’m not thrilled with that bit. My belly still hurts.
So, yeah. I went to Pittsburgh. It was cold. I’ve been awake for 20 hours. I’m going to bed now. How was your weekend?
There’s actually a good bit of data that making sure you have sex once a week, even if you aren’t all that in the mood, is not only good for the relationship but but all sorts of other health related stuff. This would be true for both sides. I would also think that as your trust levels in your relationship rise, and the comfort level rises that ya, it wasn’t really hot sex but it can sort of be like relaxing bonding sex laid back sex.
Noah tells good dirty stories, so by the end it is really hot.
I don’t think this is necessarily bad. Sometimes, I’ve found myself having fantastic sex even though I wasn’t really “in the mood” at the beginning. How did you feel during and after? If you’re having negative after effects, I’d reconsider the practice. If not, then I wouldn’t think it’s a problem. You have a terrific relationship that fits you on so many levels. It’s likely that you’ll find many things that seem safer now than they once did. You’re the one of the most self-aware people that I know, so I’m sure you’ll figure out what’s best for you.
Hope this makes sense, it’s late and I’m hopped up on codeine. Love, J
I’m pretty good at telling Noah how to get me in the mood. It started off really slow and hesitating, but by the end it was very hot. I certainly didn’t feel bad that I did it.
I’m sorta cross with you. You haven’t returned my phone calls. 🙁 I miss you.
While not pregnant, I have been through that situation- some stuff I found that helps was getting Clear to give me a massage, or read me some erotica to try and get myself into the mood a bit more. Is there something sensual you could do for yourself (like a spa day?) or Noah could do for you (massage?) that could provide no pressure for sex, but also give you space to feel sexier?
Also, about the muscles- would one of those wedge things (they have em at good vibes) help, maybe?
I don’t know if a wedge thing would help. My body is changing a lot and finding how things work is a constant adventure.
I dunno if I’d spend money on a wedge, but I definitely used pillows to support me in the last few months. ‘specially ’cause at the very end, I couldn’t be on top, ’cause baby’d get poked in the head. Giggle.
said baby:
“so, then, this naked mole rat monster barged into my room and did push-ups until he puked…”
I DON’T WANT THAT IMAGE!!!!!!!!!
EW
EW
EW
EW
EW
EW
Hey, y’know, semen is an excellent cervix softener and labor inducer. I think we “did it” more that last week than on our honeymoon!
GIGGLE SNORT……. EWWWWWWWWWW!……GIGGLE
HAHAHAHAHAHA
ive never been pregnant…
but, i’ve found that with *any* activity
i sometimes have to urge myself forward.
often, those are the most rewarding sessions.
and i wonder “now, why didn’t i want to to this?”
i’m happy p-burgh was cold.
it also gets hot in the summer.
autumns are sublime in that part of the country.
So, sex stuff aside, what’s the verdict/impression/inclination now that you’ve taken your visit? Still on track?
Short of winning the lottery (I should go buy a ticket…) we can’t stay here. Well, we *could* but we wouldn’t be able to save money for college for kids the way we want. And we would have to stay in this house (which I loathe) permanently because we can’t afford anything bigger/better.
The main reason we are choosing Pittsburgh is because of money. We will really win there in a way we can’t anywhere else.
Okay, so there have already been lots of responses, and I’m late, but that seems to be my habit lately. At any rate, I want to add my 4,567,812,000 cents’ worth, anyway. 😉
First – I heart Victorian!!!
Second – Praise from *anyone* is seriously better than the best ice cream on the planet, so don’t feel bad. 😉
Third – It’s not a bad thing to have sex if you’re not RARING to go. If you feel really badly and are absolutely NOT in the mood, I would suggest not doing it. However, if you’re just “oh well, whatever” about it, go ahead – it will probably end well, and you’ll feel better. I’ve certainly done it. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with “taking one for the team” on occasion. I’m sure it works both ways with you and Noah (just from the tiny bits I’ve read). Having sex with a man when he needs it isn’t so very different (in my mind) than his giving you a gift for no reason (which is something most women just adore from a man).
Fourth – Your second trimester will most likely be LOADS better than your first, so keep that in mind and try to look forward to it. I felt the best almost in my life during my second trimester of pregnancy!
Best of luck, dear! 😉
I feel the need to point out that I am in the 6th month. The second trimester is better than the first, but I’m going to feel crappy for most of this pregnancy as I’m almost 2/3 done with it.
🙂
Oh, oops. *blushes profusely* So sorry….
I’m glad you’ve found at least some kind of positive way to deal with the I’m-not-interested-in-sex-but-I-feel-I-oughtta thing.