Someone I love very much is hurting. Lots of different things have hurt her. Mostly it is just existing that is hurting her. She doesn’t like herself very much and she doesn’t see why I adore her so much. She’s talking about not wanting to be here anymore. There’s not really anything I can say or do to make her stay if she really wants to go. But I don’t want her to go. I see such a beautiful, wonderful person who has the ability to do so many wondrous things with her life. I see so much power and strength in her. I wish I had the magic words to entreat her to stay.
This is probably how other people felt about me when I really didn’t want to be here anymore. I wish I understood what it was that eventually got me to stay. Maybe it was just knowing how much people were hurt when my brother and my father killed themselves, maybe that was enough. I don’t really want to share the knowledge with her of how bad that was. I don’t think I actually could.
I want a magic wand. I want to make things better. And I can’t. I feel so helpless.
Good luck.
I hope things get better for her.
*hug*
Apparently we turn around after hitting our own personal “rock bottom.” For some people, that includes not wanting to be here any more. I think you’re helping by keeping in touch and encouraging your friend in whatever they might try to do.
Also, you may want to consider what services you might tap into if or when one of your students expresses such sentiments.
http://naamah-darling.livejournal.com/308536.html
Someone close to me and M once wanted to leave pretty badly. She is now doing really, really well. It took a number of years of work on her part.
I know that sometimes nothing helps, and it’s not something that anyone else can control… but I know that hearing that she was loved and hearing that it was important to me that she stay here did help this person. Hearing that would not help everyone, but you cannot know in advance whether or not it will help a particular person, so its worth trying. Saying “I want you to stay, you matter to me” is powerful.
I would like to give a plug for voluntary hospitalization. For people who really need it, a good program can be the right choice, especially if followed up with a program of outpatient care. The program at UCSF utilizes a particular form of therapy called DBT–dialectical behavioral therapy. It is one of the few forms of therapy shown in studies to reduce the risk of suicide in previously suicidal people, over a long period of time.
My heart goes out to you and to your friend.
You and your friend are in my thoughts.
I have been there myself. It is so hard to be in that place, not believing or having any hope. I am sending positive thoughts your way and hers, whoever she may be…
Yes, it’s very powerful and she probably feels much better because of all the positive support. Keep on telling her, Gibbs! I’m sure it’s just what she needs.
Wait.. you talked to Mr. K about it? I’m not mad, I just didn’t know.
And it sucks that I’m talking to him because he isn’t giving me any of the information (aka closure) that I want! It’s just frustrating me.