Well, when I went to the door today for the UPS man I knew it was something from Noah’s family because they can’t fucking spell my name. When I open the package what do I find?
A god damn silver spoon.
I’m serious.
From Tiffany’s even. It’s engraved with her name. I…
umm… thanks?
in-laws are not meant to be understood, just endured.
I’ve never met this in-law, but I’m inclined to like her despite her obsession with Tiffany’s for various reasons.
I can’t believe I married into a family like this though.
I guess she wanted to get something nice for the baby, and since she likes Tiffany’s everyone must like them!
For full disclosure I must admit I do the same thing, except I buy books for everyone.
🙂 True. I do buy everyone books…
I buy everyone books, too.
*blink**blinkblink* wtf, mate?
btw: my phone is in the car with Noah. I will need an email or call the house line. 🙂
Right. I can do that:)
This afternoon mebbe?
That would be great. Someone will be coming over this afternoon at 4:30 for a few minutes to give me an estimate for something, but it shouldn’t take long at all.
Sounds like a plan! I’m in Oakland right now, but I’ll get back to you when I get home later this afternoon.
Wow……..
Well hopefully they’ll get your name right some time….
but wow…..
Every relative has a different spelling. They often rotate within a few of them. I don’t think my name is that damn hard…
I strongly suspect there is an underlying malice there. *sigh* Heads up, dear one.
I wouldn’t think so with this relative. This particular one is pretty neat. She has a trans son and just went with it. Everything I know about her is pretty mellow and accepting.
Now his parents I wonder about. I think they have three spellings.
Ah, *that* relative. Yeah, she’s very unlikely to bear you any ill will.
But she’s also very much not of your birth culture.
My interpretation: in the culture she’s from, giving practical gifts like baby supplies is a sort of cheat, and shows less appreciation, and means the gift is effectively less durable — you’re very likely to use it up or give it away or have it wear out. A symbolic/artistic gift like a spoon, or jewelry, or a painting, is essentially permanent. And as points out, it’s also traditional, which means a lot more to her than to you.
Think of it as a step up in taste and price range from the kind of giving random stuff my immediate family does. So it’s nicer, but still something alien to your normal worldview 🙂
*laughs* Mine are all now toys, blackened with age and unfortunate encounters with the garbage disposal. But then, I *did* warn my mother first that something like that would happen.
Wow, so, um….
Right, so….
Bwuh??
I don’t understand the problem. This is a traditional baby gift. I had one, as did my brothers, and I received them for my sons. Maybe it’s a attempt at a nice gift? And completely normal to the person that sent it?
Underlying malice? From a spoon?
I am sorry they got your name wrong. But, frankly early on in our friendship i misspelled it a couple times too.
I would think nothing of sending this as a gift to a relative I ddi not know very well, as I would consider it innocuous and sweet. A keepsake. And safe. IF I don’t know a person’s tastes, this seems like a good choice.
This is a cultural gift. One from a culture I don’t share. I don’t think this woman did it out of malice, but it is something that doesn’t make sense to me. The relative who sent a bunch of baby-related stuff like clothes, bath stuff, a diaper bag, etc that made more sense to me. A silver spoon? It seems so excessive. Why spend $100 on a spoon?
The person up thread who asked about malice was wondering about them never getting my name right. It’s been a couple of years so I figure that learning my name would be polite, but I’m not losing sleep over it. You didn’t misspell my name for multiple years.
I totally see both sides, the clash of culture … the illogical perception of something perfectly logical to another. This is where tradition twists up with difference and makes life exciting!
That is sweet that they sent something, it will be a nice thing for her to have someday, she won’t care much for a long time I’m sure. 🙂
…. but yeah, made me chuckle.
Part of it is: I wouldn’t cherish something like that from some distant relative who wasn’t in my life. The relative in question might me Shanna someday but it’s fairly unlikely.
Although else-net I found out that silver is good for baby spoons because it is antibacterial and antifungal. That’s actually kinda cool.
Sorry for the confusion. The malice comment was on being unable to spell their daughter-in-law’s name, not on the gift of a spoon.
Wow. You should tell them it’s just a little *too* late for it to be useful, for that whole “born with a silver spoon in her mouth” thing…
On the other hand, I remember reading a study that said that silver oxides ingested from using real-silver silverware were beneficial to a developing (ie kid/baby) immune system.
Tiffany’s though. ::shakes head::
So, I’ll note that in my family, it *is* tradition to give the new little one both a silver spoon and a silver rattle, engraved. I have mine somewhere, I’m sure. *shrug* every family is different – Dad’s family it’s a bible – I have one of those with my name on it, too.
How curious! It seems as though it is a very significant tradition to her, and thus a friendly gesture. 🙂
Per, yes I think it is too late for the “born with a silver spoon in her mouth” part…..particularly since for that to happen you’d have had to have shoved the spoon up your….oh I”ll be good. Though it seems your immediate inclination is to shove it up someone elses…..
This thread seems to involve people thinking I’m angry and I’m not. I’m kind of confused. I think it is wasteful, but I’m not angry. My very limited knowledge of this woman is that she is nice.
I’m trying to understand it’s cultural place for the munchkin. Very weird to think about.
I was wondering. I couldn’t really tell if you were upset by the gift or just confused or thankful or what.
While it may seem strange to you, your daughter may greatly appreciate and cherish it one day. I think our modern culture lacks way too many of these keepsake type of things. Our world is now disposable, it seems, and that’s sad to me.
That whole anti-bacterial thing is cool, huh? 😀
Did I ever show you my engraved sterling silver baby cup?
Diversity
OK, I’m sure that when you were a teacher you were open to diverse cultural traditions in your students, so try being open to it in your own family.
Let me explain a bit about the “Family Silver”. It’s not just a symbol of wealth and good fortune. It’s also intended as insurance against the bad times. So long as you have a silver spoon you can sell, the next meal is paid for. My college at at Cambridge has a nice collection of silver which they bring out a few times a year for college feasts, but it is all about 150 years younger than the college because the original silver got converted to money during the English Civil war (1642-1651).
So, please accept a silver spoon not only as a symbol of wealth, but also a charm against poverty and a blessing that will outlast any amount of baby clothes and gear.
Re: Diversity
i have my silver spoon from my german family
it’s with my watches and my dad’s spoon.
i don’t even know who gave th spoon to me
but i still like it lots ’cause i used it when i was a baby.
and though i was taught to give a silver dollar
with the year of the birth
(for the same reason misterajc describes above)
we had an old-world neighbor who always gave
bread and salt for a happy gift.
i think that’s more my style.
Now that I think about it, I do have a set of baby silverware that is actually silver. huh. not from tiffanys or engraved, mind you :o)