Last night was the kind of night that prompts me to tell people, “If you aren’t 150% sure you want children–don’t have them.” Really it was all my fault. I was out of the house from 10 am till 6:30 pm and Shanna was only able to steal a couple of 20 minute cat naps. Whoops. As a result she had a terrible time sleeping all night. Major booby-monsterage. She woke up freaked out and needed to nurse every hour or two. At about 2:30 she woke up and just couldn’t seem to go to sleep again. We were up until 4:30. She was fussing and whining and crying and kicking me and generally expressing massive displeasure in my direction. Fair enough. All told she probably got ~9 hours of sleep last night but it was seriously broken sleep. She’s already napping on my lap.
At about 4am we ended up crying together for a while out of frustration. It was rather cathartic.
And it’s worth pointing out that after last night, by far our hardest night to date, that I’m still so happy to be a mom that I ache with joy. I love her so much.
Oh, poor babes, the both of you!
My mom told me the story this morning about how when I was two or so, she was sitting in the back seat of the car with me and my “Irish twin” sister and my dad was driving. She said to him, “remember when it was just the two of us?” Apparently I looked up at her with these massively sad eyes like I understood exactly what she was talking about, and she was wracked with guilt for days. I have no recollection of this incident, however, so probably I didn’t understand. This she told in reference to the fact that I turn 30 in a couple of weeks, and she’s been trying to figure out where the heck the time went since then! Someday you’ll tell Shanna the story of how she kept you up one night until the both of you were crying, when you’re trying to figure out where the last thirty years went…
“Irish twins” – now there’s a phrase you don’t hear too much, anymore.
my mom used to tell us flat out
“you’ve made my life a living hell.”
like it was going to do something other than encourage us.
“If you aren’t 150% sure you want children–don’t have them.”
That’s good advice, even when you and your little one have had a perfectly easy night.
I’m glad you’re still feeling the love and happiness – even in the face of difficulty.
babee!
babee!
babee!
they can be corkers, that’s for damned sure.
still, they’re worth it.
mostly.
when they’re older.
and can start doing chores.
of course you still have to nag their asses.
alltaime.
they’ve made my life a living hell.
actually…
maybe just a torpid heck.