I want to go somewhere. I want to go do something big and exciting and dramatic. But my life doesn’t allow such things anymore. I am consumed by minutiae. I am obsessed with ensuring that I am Safe. But how is that benefiting me really? Why am I doing this to myself? Ugh. It’s making me easily frustrated and so ridiculously bored.
Oh, I remember that feeling from my mommy days very well.
Can you arrange some heavy bottoming? That usually pulls its fangs for me.
“Can you arrange some heavy bottoming?”
I’d be happy to help with that 😉
Ensuring that you are Safe is a good thing. It makes other things, like having adventures, more possible. Knowing you are Safe on your insides, and that your home is Safe to be at & to leave & to come back to, I would think an Adventure would be more appealing and more possible.
I fall prey to a similar thing, which is why I’m trying to be ok with moving to Japan – it’s a crazy step, but it’s akin to things I’ve fantasized about doing but am generally too afraid to really stretch myself to do.
So I dig, man.
Wait, you are moving to Japan? Is this cause of J’s work?