My sister sent my brother a horribly rude, inappropriate, awful letter. I can’t believe her. Well no, that’s not true. I totally believe that she did it. She has no sense of responsibility and she has no fucking boundaries.
But you know what? My brother sent it to me. And he talked to me about it. And he wanted comfort and community with me around how crazy she is. I really hope she will leave him alone again, but I’ll take the outreach. It’s amazing how talking to him affects me. I start to shake. I’m so terrified of doing something or saying something wrong and having him shut me out again. That’s actually a pretty terrible manifestation of the overall abusive nature of our relationship. If I feel that way while talking to him it’s not healthy at all. And the way I crave his approval is also seriously unhealthy.
God I can’t win.
Family- I hear that.
Family of origin can be really hard. Be strong. You seem to know whats best for yourself, so just remember that. 🙂
I obviously don’t know your brother at all, but it would seem to me that if he’s letting you in at all he’s changed at least a bit. So wouldn’t it make sense to treat in a way that respects your collective past without driving you nuts, and if that doesn’t work out he can take off?
In any case, good luck with everything! Hugs to the family!
He actually called back and we talked for an hour. It was a super good conversation. I talked to him about my anxiety and walking on eggshells and he told me not to worry about it. I’m really impressed by how much he has grown up.
Yay! That’s great! Best of luck with that! For reals, yo!