In an attempt to remind myself of the people who love me I called one of my friends last night and asked him if he wanted to grab dinner since I was giving Noah the night off. 🙂 It was lots of fun. It was really nice to reflect on how much our relationship has grown and changed in the last ten years. He is pretty awesome about listening without trying to ‘fix’ at this point despite the fact that it takes conscious out loud reminders (he does this for himself) don’t fix! Don’t fix! It’s pretty cute. 🙂 He said something to me that I appreciated a lot. I told him I was pregnant (he is kind of out of the loop) and that I had been last time I saw him at Dickens but I didn’t know yet. He said, “That explains the level of emotional you were displaying then” and I quipped, “As opposed to just being generally crazy?” and he said, “Despite your desire to self-identify that way you really aren’t crazy.” I kind of stopped. That was interesting for me. Let’s just say that if he thought I was crazy he would say so. He’s really not one to uhm pull punches. So it was kind of startling.
What am I getting out of describing myself that way? Something to ponder.
Not to mention that I spent the earlier part of the day with a girlfriend. She asked to come over and that felt nice. It was nice to catch up with her because we haven’t done that in months. 🙂
And I was right to cancel the massage. There was no way in h-e-double hockey sticks Shanna would have tolerated me lying on the table. She’s starting to feel better physically today but now I’m getting a cough too. I’m glad I didn’t send this bug home to Ms. I Have To Take The Boards On Tuesday. 🙂
“Despite your desire to self-identify that way you really aren’t crazy.”
You’ve actually gotten this feedback from a number of people, though I can believe that you didn’t believe it from them 🙂
Maybe I just heard it differently right now? dinno
Both my therapist and psychiatrist (talk and drugs) ask me pretty much the same question. Maybe it has to do with societal pressure to either be the same as everyone else or to just give people a blanket, simple excuse so you don’t have to go into details (not that they’d want details anyway, because it seems like a lot of people are very superficial). Yo no say.
Maybe identifying as crazy is a way to lighten the burden, sort of. Instead of admitting to the world that you’re not Susie Perfect and saying you have bad days (and thus admitting weakness to a world that is often willing to take advantage of it), you can go with “I’m crazy” as a self-conscious way of getting out from under someone’s scrutiny. You’re making it so that they don’t have to expand their consciousness in order to understand something different from themselves – “Why didn’t you just do such-and-such?” “I’m just crazy, you know, haha.” Essentially, it’d be a defense mechanism.
This is, of course, using the universal “you” and isn’t thoroughly thought-out either. I’m gonna go back to mainlining Les Framboises Bonbons Fruits hard candies now.
She who will be kicking the mf boards ass on tuesday doesn’t have a lj, so I’ll pass your note along 🙂
Hope you feel better soon
This guy’s driving this car, see, and he gets a flat tire on a road right outside an insane asylum.
As he’s changing the tire, he kicks the hubcap and all the lug-nuts from the tire the he had placed there for safe-keeping go flying into a ditch filled with poison ivy.
He’s about ready to wade into the noxious weed when he noticed a woman on the other side of the asylum’s fence shaking her head.
“You don’t have to go in there,” the lady says. “You can take a lug-nut from each of the other wheels and put them on the one you’re changing. If you drive slowly it’ll be safe enough for you to reach the garage that’s a couple miles on down the road.”
“Wow,” says the guy. “That’s a great idea! How’d you think that up?”
The lady bristles. “I’m in here ’cause I’m nuts, not ’cause I’m stupid!”