+ Today has been one of my more productive days in a long time which makes me feel way better about canceling the play date for this morning.
– I canceled a play date because I hurt my foot yesterday and shoes are really not my friend. I really like the mom I was going to see so this is kind of sad.
+ I got to see a friend yesterday and she was very patient with Shanna’s mood.
– Yesterday was one of the hardest days I’ve ever had with Shanna.
+ Bad days for Shanna are so few and far between that I am shocked when they occur.
– I am moody on turbo. I think I want pregnancy to be over because I am tired of this hormonal roller coaster. (Other people get fussy when I think they are more moody during pregnancy. Mostly this is me projecting because I am fucking psychotic. But I do think that most pregnant women are more moody than they are willing to admit. 😛 )
+ Overall my kid is so awesome that she takes my breath away. I feel very lucky to have such a happy, good natured child.
– I’m struggling with feeling guilty about a boundary I need to enforce right now. The person I need to do this with isn’t doing anything wrong or bad, I just need to say what I need and that’s hard sometimes.
++++ Noah is seriously the most patient husband ever. I’m really not pulling my weight and he’s not bitter or pissy at me in the slightest. I’m really grateful that he comes home from work and makes me dinner while playing with Shanna. He’s so amazing.
– I want my body back. I am really struggling this time through pregnancy with feeling pissed off about my body being invaded. I would like to be able to wear clothes I actually like instead of whatever ugly tent will fit over my bloated body. I want to be able to sleep in any position I feel like. I want to be able to eat foods that are good for me without feeling disgusted because vegetables are nasty. I want to stop trying to eat more protein/calories because it’s what the baby needs. I want to stop taking huge handfuls of fucking pills every day. I want to have more energy to play with Shanna. I want to not be on the verge of tears most days out of frustration with all the shit I can’t do. (Yes, a good many of you other pregnant women don’t seem to be inhibited much and you don’t want to be treated like you are disabled. I don’t want to fucking hear about it.) Ugh.
– I hate technology. My phone is also broken in addition to the lack of working laptop.
+ Luckily I ordered a Netbook today so part of that problem will be solved soon.
– I’m simultaneously bored and overworked. This is part of the “I want my body back.”
+ I am actually looking forward to the baby. 🙂