So I’ve been hanging out with these lovely ladies for a while now. I like them. I like their kids. I like the overall dynamic quite a bit. Yesterday there was an interaction where one of the moms yelled at Shanna for watching her change her son’s diaper. “This is not a spectator sport!” This wouldn’t have bugged me much except all of the moms in the room were watching and discussing the horrible sores on the little boy’s bottom and possible treatments and what could be causing them… so all the kids were looking too. It felt like she was singling Shanna out in a way that wasn’t cool. So I felt fussy at the time and we left soon after. It was late in the day and all the kids were getting cranky anyway so the timing was an incidental as anything else.
Me being me, I called the mom last night to talk about it. I was pretty polite but I said I felt like she was picking on Shanna and I’m not ok with that. We discussed that her real problem is that Shanna was leaning on her while she was watching and this woman is also fussy about her personal space bubble. I’m not one to complain about having that kind of issue. 😀 I told her that I am completely ok with her defending her personal space, but please try to remember that even though Shanna talks like a five year old she’s only two. Give her a break and please try to be a bit kinder and more direct. If you want her to not lean on you, say that. Don’t yell at her for doing what every single other person in the room is doing. She took it well and we had a pleasant rest of the conversation. I thought that was all fine and dandy.
I have since had email conversations with the other moms in the group because they are all upset with how that mom treats Shanna. They think this mom picks on Shanna all the time and is constantly yelling at her and treating her differently. I find it kind of interesting that a)they are as upset as they are b) that they are so much more sensitive to the behavior and c)that they are bringing it up kind of as behind-her-back gossip. I think the mother in question has a sharper tone of voice than the rest of us and that she does correct Shanna more than the other boys… but that’s because she interacts more with Shanna. This mom just doesn’t interact with the other boys in the group almost at all. I suspect the boys avoid her because of her tone of voice, actually. Shanna constantly crawls all over her and seems to love her so I’m not worried about it.
It’s interesting to me how things are working out with this group. It’s been a long time since I got to know people solely in real life without the crutch of them reading my journal so learning a lot about me quickly. I feel… more anonymous. Very strange.