How I make it through the hard days

Today it feels like one kid or another has been crying since 7am. It’s to the point where *I* am crying too. So I sat down on the bed with a screaming Calli and started crying. I was talking to Calli asking her to please stop crying before I lose my mind. Shanna came to the back of the house and said from the doorway, “Do you need me?” I told her yes and she came over and gave me a hug. She said, “I’m sorry you are upset. I love you and it’s going to be ok.”

And then she started telling me about something weird with a village hiding in the back of her dollhouse. But, hey. (eta: oh! She meant the little village people from Paula. She wanted help reaching one because it was too far back for her arm 🙂

I’m really proud of my kid. She is so compassionate and kind. I think I’m doing this right.

17 thoughts on “How I make it through the hard days

        1. bldrnrpdx

          Same camp. I’m ridiculously excited that friends of mine are trying to get knocked up. I’m all about being part of the village. Which, I realized, makes M and me Village People.

          Reply
  1. rbus

    see?
    they are already not like your cousins.

    crying kids are hard to take.
    but,
    sometimes,
    they just wanna cry.

    sonling did that, sometimes.
    cry and cry and cry for no reason at all.
    darling-d….
    SCREAMED and SCREAMED and SCREAMED for no reason at all.

    crying’s not so bad, really…

    Reply
  2. safya

    Shanna sounds so awesome. I love my kid, and there are some really cool things he does (like build amazing cranes out of pretty much anything you can imagine)…but at 3.5, while he can name various emotions, he has very little interest in discussing them at all, and as far as I can tell no interest whatsoever in modifying his behavior based on the fact that others have them too. Stuff like your story kind of blows my mind.

    Reply
    1. Krissy Gibbs Post author

      Shanna is naturally very empathetic and I *constantly* talk about my emotional process. Given that she is extremely bright and her verbal abilities are so advanced I think she would kind of have to get some pieces of it. But mostly I think she was just born that kind of person and I’m glad I get to hang out with her. 🙂 You have distinctly less diarrhea-of-the-mouth than I do about spilling all your deepest darkest feelings on the internet so I feel it is reasonable to assume you potentially might be slightly less processy than me. Maybe the universe knew that you had slightly less pressing need for a child who would know what to do when you break down crying. Ha.

      Reply
    2. rbus

      kids are so different…

      with my twins:
      one would almost always come and sit with us when we were visibly shaken by something. there wasn’t always talk, but would spend extra time, ask if you needed something, like that.

      the other was much more subtle; might do something we asked for earlier. or turn down the tv without being asked. or, even go off and leave you alone.

      that kid *did* things, but it took me a long time to tie them back to the what i was feeling.

      though, around 4, or so, one of our cats died. i was upset and sitting by myself the kid seemingly wandered into the room, leaned against me for an instant, and left. never said a word or even made eye contact.

      i still cry when i consider that tiny spark of obvious kindness.

      Reply
        1. rbus

          yes. sometimes all that’s needed is the slightest touch.

          at my brother’s funeral, 25 years ago,
          i had a moment where my knees kind of buckled.

          a man, who happened to be standing next to me,
          put an arm around my shoulders, just for an instant,
          to steady me on my feet.

          that man, himself, has been dead for more than a decade.
          but i never forgot what he did.
          i never will.

          Reply

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