Today I have my cranky pants shoved so far up my @#%$%@ that I’m not sure they can ever be pulled off. I’m not even sure what is going on with me. There isn’t an obvious trigger for this much fuss. So I’m sitting here drinking a cup of tea hoping that I can chill the freak out. I’m not actually being all that nasty but I feel nasty and mean. Ugh. Is today over yet?
Monthly Archives: December 2010
Shanna reading a book
This was done about 6 months ago but he just got it online. 🙂
expectations
Periodically I get very upset with myself for not getting more done during the day. Then I stop and think about how very very little I did when Shanna was tiny. I’m doing great! 🙂 Today I ran around doing chores before Calli woke up. It was surprising that she slept till 9:30 (given that she went to bed at 6pm) so I did way more than anticipated. Whoo. I need to get my house back in shape though because the mom group is having our little Christmas party here on Saturday. Yay! I’m feeling somewhat strange about the fact that I’m not seeing my pre-kid friends much at all anymore because I made the vast majority of the effort and I’ve moved to focusing on people who return the effort. It’s… kind of an interesting feeling. But! I’m really glad I’ve had these ladies pop up to fill the void in my life. I’m really not lonely anymore.
HEY YOU GUYS!!!!
I’m awesome and I didn’t put Thunderbird on my new machine when I got it. Uhm, that’s where my addresses are. If you want a Christmas card (complete with pictures of my cute kids) leave me a (screened) comment with your snail mail address. 🙂
Hey Arbus–want a picture for your fridge so you can confuse your family? 🙂
Full of awesome
Today my mom group (which is becoming just a group of friends who hang out together a lot) spent over an hour talking about sex and I got to give several little mini-lessons on different kinds of sexual practices. It made me so happy. 😀
Personality
It’s really fascinating to watch how different the girls are. Shanna really needed to be physically on me, but then she would flirt with anyone and everyone who came at all near. She was always full of smiles and loved attention. Calli however is really calm with just about anyone but she doesn’t flirt. She saves her smiles for people she knows pretty well. And last night during dinner Shanna started laughing and that kicked off Calli laughing and then both of the grown ups started laughing and we kept going in rounds for quite a few minutes. It was so wonderful and fun.
Calli is starting to exert some signs of independence and spirit. She is trying hard to sit and she’s scooting all over the place if she’s put down. I tend to wake up in the morning and she has moved 6-9 inches over and 4-7ish inches upwards in the bed. I have to be pretty careful about pillows and such on her side of the bed. She can do nearly a full ‘girl’ push up which is cool to watch. She certainly pushes all the way up from her waist. She is so very serious about doing it though. That’s what is interesting to me about it. She looks like she is studying for a test or taking a class and doing her ‘exercises’. She rarely gets frustrated. It’s surprising to me how calmly she takes it when she’s trying to do something and fails. Shanna wasn’t like that. Shanna would get worked up and pissed off if she didn’t get something on the first try.
Calli tolerates being uhm left to herself for rather long stretches. She seems to have an extensive ability to self entertain. I’m kind of wondering if this is what an introvert looks like. 🙂 Shanna continues to need unholy quantities of attention. Boy howdy is she my little extrovert. 🙂
Things in general are good. Shanna is so very intense some days. If she is happy then everything in the whole universe is wonderful. If she’s unhappy then the whole world must suffer. It’s… challenging. Luckily she doesn’t have bad days very often. She’s been injuring herself more and more as she gets braver about trying stuff. Dear god is she a klutz. I swear it is like watching a mini square faced blond me. 🙂 Sleep is becoming more of an issue for her. She really needs a nap and she often resists taking one. It leads to her having a very hard time with her feelings. I think that is a lot of what characterizes her experiences lately. She has So Many Big Feelings. When I’m being good and patient we get through just about anything well. If I’m already frustrated then it’s hard. I feel bad when I fail her through my own inadequacy. She really is a wonderful child. I’m continually amazed by how compassionate and loving she is. I kind of expect children to be as self centered all the time as she is on her very worst days. It’s rare for her to have a really bad day and I can pretty much always point at hungry/upset/tired/overstimulated specific things that have set her off. I’m really so glad.
Calli gets upset when she needs a diaper change and when she’s overtired and when she is having gas issues. Even the car crying is going away unless one of the above issues is present. When she wants to be picked up she kind of mildly fusses a bit but it really sounds like her saying, “Mom…. hey mom…. come get me now…” It’s not crying. It’s slightly/barely whiny talking. If I ignore her for a while because I have to work (usually when I’m in the middle of a sensitive part of cooking) she puts herself to sleep. I feel much more extraneous to her happiness. This is both good and bad.
I love that Calli looks more like me and Shanna looks a lot like Noah because it seems like the personality matches switched. The narcissism of having children and seeing what they have in common with us is awesome. 😀