Calli is sobbing her heart out on my back. She wants to be lying on my lap nursing on the couch. I just can’t do that anymore. I did that through Shanna’s babyhood and right now that will be the straw that breaks the camels back. I just cannot endure that again. So Calli cries. Crying is even an inadequate word for what she is doing. She is screaming and flailing and pounding on me. She is having a tantrum. It’s not that she is starving because she doesn’t want to nurse in any other position. She just wants to comfort nurse to sleep. Trapping me. And I just can’t do it anymore. Not with Shanna whining at me all.day.long. for food. And sometimes as I pace the house I cry. Because how could I have wanted this to be my life.
I’m sorry. I’m sending you hugs. Let’s try to have tea again soon.
Sure, that would be great. 🙂 I may bake less. 🙂 Which were your favorite items?
You really don’t have to bake at all but my faves are the scones and the cookies (which I froze and have been eating very slowly, until my freezer door was open when I got home tonight). Woe is me! I’ll have to eat cookies and scones while I’m PMS’ing.
Your heading’s dead on. It’s a bad moment.
From a distance this mommy thing looks hard, really hard. It’s not surprising you pace & cry or question where your are or wish to tear your hair out.
Not from a distance, you’re a pretty fracking good mom. Probably because you pace & cry or question where your are or wish to tear your hair out. I have no right to this, but I’m proud of you.
All I have is hugs for you and the hope that there’s good moments today.
Thank you. Bad moments don’t last very long and we don’t have that many of them. They are very intense and overwhelming when they happen though.