Earlier today I had 16,000 words on my front page from the previous two days. My hands hurt. I’m still jagged but it’s settled. It’s time to go do something else again. It’s time to go back to figuring out how to do this day in-day out life thing. It’s time to start just doing the life thing. As much as I love my garage, I’m feeling trapped and unhappy about it. Next week my daughter turns three. I don’t want to be doing this on her birthday.

I think this is the biggest freak out I’ve had in a very long time. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet, it’s too close. All this stuff is still muttering in my head. But my body is exhausted. I need to get off the internet for a few days and just be present with my kids and my house. I’m fixating and that’s not what I want for my life.

I want to live.