I think that all of us are dancing at the intersection of the rational and the irrational.  I think that even when we believe we are being rational we are fighting out own unconscious, unexamined irrational prejudices.  Here is mostly what I mean.  I don’t mean exactly that, of course.  Because that focuses only on negative thoughts.  There are an awful lot of irrational positive beliefs as well.  And there should be.  The intensity of my fervor that motivates me to protect my kids?  That’s a positive irrational belief.  There is no one threatening them.  There is no circumstance that threatens their health or safety in any real way.  It becomes negative when I feel anxiety about it.  Having that fervor?  That’s not actually a bad thing.  Most mothers do.

The fervor I feel to protect my children is motivating me to take radical steps in my life.  I am changing my living situation.  I entered therapy.  I have written more than 100,000 words in a month.  I take conscious, deliberate steps to medicate for my anxiety so that I am not inappropriate in my interactions with my children.  As a result, I’m doing a fairly good job of dealing with the negative effects of my irrational thinking.

But I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have a much much stronger positive irrational belief pushing me.  I’m curious about that belief too.I want to protect my children.  I have a ridiculously strong urge to protect children because of how I was hurt.  I have to believe there is some value in what I went through.

I have to believe that part of that value lies at the intersection of the rational and the irrational.  I have to believe this because I am a highly rational person with strong irrational urges.  When I look at the people in my life, specifically the people in my family, I see both a lack of rational thinking and a prevalence of irrational thinking.  That’s kind of a problem.

I strongly suspect, and literature supports me, that the irrational thoughts I have are the same sort that go through the minds of actual violent offenders.  But they can’t restrain them.  Why?  But I’m going to take this away from there though.

Let’s talk about food.  Food is like religion.  Food intersects at the intersection of the rational and the irrational as well.  Why do you have memories associated with certain foods/smells?  Because of previous experiences.  If you walk into a restaurant wanting to eat something.  Let’s say you are in the mood for lasagna because you are feeling kind of nostalgic and your grandmother used to make you lasagna.  The problem is, the lasagna from some random restaurant is unlikely to taste much like the