I am finally up early enough to talk to my Sarah.  We haven’t been able to synch up in a while.  It’s really interesting for me to think about my part in forming a multi-adult household.  So far in raising our kids I’ve mostly been the boss.  Noah defers to me most of the time.  I think Sarah will too.  But I’m not sure that’s a good thing.  I don’t want to be a boss.  I feel uncomfortable as a boss.  But I’m a control freak.  I get very anxious when I am not in control.  I’m not sure how to own that and deal with it and yet not have everyone in the house be required to do what I say when I say it.  However my biggest objection to poly households with children (hello judgment!) is that kids need to have structure and it needs to not be wishy washy.  Most of the time I see poly arrangements where the adults all want to be equal and then no one puts their foot down because they don’t want to be the boss/mean.  That hits all of my buttons.  Which isn’t to say that every poly family fucks up their kids, but that isn’t a system I can live in.