Sometimes I wonder if I belong in a Surviving Abuse forum. I’m too judgmental. I’m sorry, once a man has escalated to chasing you with knives, beating you while *holding your 12 month old*, trying to throw you down stairs in front of your kids…
I don’t give a shit about your mental health, your needs, your whatever. I honestly kind of think you are a piece of shit if you stay with that and subject your kids to that. I have not been abused like that as an adult and I would sure as shit not let that happen in front of my kids. I have no compassion for the powerful pull to be loyal. I prosecuted my father when I was 16. I just don’t have compassion for adults who who subject children to their problems.
This would be why I moved another adult woman who is more emotionally stable than me into my house. I can’t provide 24/7 stability by myself. Between the three of us we are just about there. And there is almost an adult in the house who is kind of over sensitive from being abused herself so we monitor tone of voice a lot. 😛
Not everyone has my resources, but I honestly think more people should co-house. This kids thing is hard. Doing it alone in a nuclear family? I can’t do it. Truly. It’s just too hard.
But yeah. I think I said my piece. If you continue to subject your children to this behavior you are standing the very real risk that you will lose out on a relationship with your kids. I hate my mother. I think she is a fucking piece of shit. Do you really want your kids to feel about you the way I feel about my mother? Because I’ll tell you flat out that you (chick I’m thinking of) are going through stuff that is just as bad as what I went through as a kid. And you keep your kid there to go through it with you. I can’t be your support. I’m worried about your kids. I kind of wish I had your full name so I could call CPS and tell them to take your fucking children away from you because you are too big of a piece of shit to take care of your kids yourself.
And other things I will never post in that forum because I feel bad for her, kind of. But not enough to act like her behavior is ok. I don’t think I get to sympathize with the mother position over being an abused kid this lifetime.
you know…you could contact whoever runs the website and tell him there is suspected child abuse. :o/
It’s an anonymous website and she is currently on the run. It’s complicated.
She’s on the run? Isn’t that good? Or do you mean she’s traveling with the abuser?
I can’t give more information about her situation. :-\
ugh.
I hope she finds the support (internal, external, whatever) she needs to leave this person, and that one way or another the kids get out.
I have no idea if it would even apply, but one thing that worked for me was being reminded that it is possible to love someone and also acknowledge that they are not going to change and you cannot help them. It has also helped me to think that perhaps some people are just poison for eachother, no matter whether either or both folks are ‘good at heart’.
What an awful situation. 🙁
Telling her flat out that you hate your mother for not taking you away from abuse will probably do more good than a thousand mealy-mouthed “support” posts where you bite your tongue until it bleeds.
1) I really admire you.
2) I think the reason that I ended up as sane and as functional and as happy as I did was because I was raised with several adults, some of whom had no role in enabling my perp.