You wanted follow up DSH? Well, here’s the email I’m hitting send on:

You want to know which parts were the hottest? That’s kind of hard to tease out. The very hottest individual seconds were not during the hottest overall physical action? Is that an answer? There were several levels of intensity… I hope for you too. Ok. I’m going to be thorough as possible and damn the whirlwhind. It’s November 1st. It’s time to write. 🙂

There were a few different things that I liked a lot. Physically I think the thing that felt absolutely the best was when you were in as deep as you could go and you held still and let me fuck you until I made myself come. That was dirty and whorish and so very hot. I uhhh liked that a lot. But honestly the most intense moments were when you made me look at you. When you made me look at myself in the mirror. Honestly the first thing that went through my head when I saw myself was, “Holy shit. People think that is attractive?” I’m not happy about that reaction. I grimace too much. I don’t like that about myself. Anyway.

It was really weird and hard to bring that much emotional intensity to a uhm gay bath house pickup. I feel like there is a lot of emotion attached to this that shouldn’t be there, but I knew that before I met you. 🙂 An awful lot of why I’m asking you for this affair is because I feel so lonely and uninteresting. So having you want this much from me, this much thinking, this much physical action, this much intensity… that’s heady stuff. I’m going to be honest with you and tell you that at some point the word love is going to be said because this is really intense emotion. But I know what it isn’t. This isn’t long-term. I can’t have long-term right now and thinking that during sex was extremely intense. It made me horribly sad. I didn’t want you to stop. Which was not a terribly rational thing. You didn’t want to stop last night (until you did) and it was weird to feel this silent screaming of “Nooooo! Don’t go away!” It’s been hard to be monogamous and invisible for so long. I don’t actually expect you to pour that much emotion into me but it seems fair to warn you that I will be gushy. I need to shut up on this topic again.

I liked the glory hole. I think I mostly liked that you made me *and him* do it. Because he didn’t want to. He wanted to lay down and have a more intimate experience. You didn’t really want him to do that. You wanted to objectify him and that is, quite frankly, pretty fucking hot.

I liked your verbal enthusiasm. I felt awkward about your phrasing and the things you said a few times because I’m a dork like that. But it was nice. I wish I didn’t apologize so much. I wish I was less afraid to touch you. It was weird realizing that a lot of the reason I was afraid to play with your nipples was because I was afraid I was going to make you angry with me. I’m not sure where that is coming from. You haven’t given me any reason to be worried about your anger.

Now I’ll confess the projecting part. There seemed to be a few minutes there where you were also surprised by the intensity of your emotional reaction. Because I’m self-absorbed I made up a story about how if last night was 17 things off your bucket list… you probably have other things we should do together. Because it seems like there is a lot there for you. And that’s as vulnerable as I can be about that line of thought.

I would really like to get to know you deeply, in a hurry. I don’t have a lot of time.

Krissy