Well that is the last time I'm going out with that baby carrier. Calli is too fucking heavy. I hurt. Today I woke up and did my three miles (actually 3.26 because I didn't judge the loop perfectly) then we walked to Fairyland and went around Lake Merritt. We do public transit to Oakland so there is a fair bit of walking involved. My off the cuff whine says that I moved my body through at least eight, probably nine, possibly ten miles today. And I carried Calli for at least three miles of it. I carried both kids for about 3/4 of a mile. That was all I could manage. I hurt. Together they weigh ~64 pounds. And I had a bag that was probably almost five pounds.
I think I should stop thinking of myself as not very strong. It's an interesting part of my self identity. On Saturday I am going to go run my second half marathon this life time. And then I will take a shower and go to San Francisco and work a shift in a coffee shop.
I think I should stop thinking of myself as not very capable. I'm starting to think that if I am still not competent then the bar is too high. Give me a fucking break. I've done a lot of manual labor this week. I did a bunch of yard work. I have run 24 miles in the last seven days. And on Saturday I will go run a half marathon.
I'm having a little trouble with this explanation being me. I'm not athletic! I'm a shitty runner! I'm in terrible shape! See, I still have a big belly. (Whatever. I have an ass. I have a very very very nice ass. With shelf. And definition. And LIFT. It's god damn awesome.)
Ok. This is weird. My body has changed a lot. I don't feel like I recognize me very well. I look more intense and feral by the month. Getting through this much exercise is something I can only do through brute will. I hate exercising. This is a nightmare. Only it's not always. It is at the end of a lot of walking in a poorly fitting carrier.
I had a span of intense joy while running today. I had been fucking around with going a little faster then a little slower and I was just going through a corner right at the end of a get-my-breath-back slow jog session when Lady Gaga's "Hair" came on. I could feel the first few beats of the song make my body start lengthening. I consciously checked in with my lungs–my biggest downfall as a runner is I have very low lung capacity. Running has been amazing for this. I had a very slow breath rate and my heart was nice and low and slow. I saw the nice long straight block with decent sidewalk come straight into my line of vision. I lined up on the center line. It felt like giving a horse its head. I felt pulled forward by the fierceness of my energetic response. All of a sudden I just had to run. I sprinted down the block for all I was worth.
It felt so good. I felt so free. I felt so strong. I felt like a god damn bad ass. I probably flailed and looked kind of funny, but not really. I carefully felt every muscle group in my body. I felt like I was moving in tandem. I felt balanced. I felt really good. At the end of the quarter mile stretch I reached down fast and pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on to see what it said. The phone has a bit of a lag. By the time it registered I know I had slowed down from my maximum speed. It said I was running at 8.64 mph.
When I first started running I googled "What is the difference between running and jogging?" Some asshole on the internet said, "Nine minute miles. That's the difference."
I'm not there yet. But all of a sudden I feel the ghost of a chance. Some day I might be able to run one nine minute mile.
I cried a lot today. I come from a very athletic family. They sneered at me for my fatness. My sedentary life. It's all so complicated.
Dinner time.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
what a beautiful moment! thank you for sharing… I get that it feels complicated.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
It took me a lot of time to do that.
I spend a lot of time at work with people who devalue every single accomplishment I make, because I made it and I’m Not An Engineer and Not of the Tribe. This introduces some weird double vision that I find very painful. It also is one part of why our company is so broken – we don’t do new and we don’t do ideas unless we’ve already got them, and that means if a member of the elite has them.
This is part of why I want to do a tri. Why yes, I am more of a man than any of them. And I’m a girl. Oh wait. I already proved that over and over.
Someday I will work someplace else. I’m working on that. And these fuckers will still be there. Tough nuts on them.
It’s really hard for me to change how I see myself when I am bathed in others toxic spew. I think sheer rage keeps me going. I’m angry, I’m hurt, and I will Prove You Wrong. Rage keeps me from giving up. It’s what I’ve got.
*snort*
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*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
*snort*
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
Stop thinking of yourself as not very strong and not very capable.
If you don’t stop, I’ll scowl at you.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.
You are awesome.
Assholes on the internet are precisely that.
I have a love hate relationship with exercise. Part of why I want to do a tri is for the pure moments that do come sometimes. Part of it is to prove that I’m more of a man than any of the “men” I work with. It’s complicated.
That Hair song makes me cry every single time. I can walk and cry, I can work and cry, and I keep playing the song anyway.