If I’m feeling blue I just need to think about what I am growing. For edibles I have (in no particular order): tomato, celery, spinach, mustard, sweet peppers, chard, potatoes, sweet potatoes, apple tree, cherry tree, plum tree, orange tree, grapes, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, artichoke, asparagus, corn, parsley, oregano, basil, sage, rosemary.
Today I added pumpkin and carrot and cucumber and watermelon seeds.
In the non-eating realm I have blue potato vine, seven different kinds of roses, jasmine, marigolds, mums, japanese lanterns (that’s what I’ve been told to call them), several kind of lily’s, geraniums, many cacti, and a few I can’t remember the names for them. I have a few other trees and a privet hedge.
I don’t live on a big piece of land. I just use what I have.
I don’t feel capable of figuring out human relationships very well. So I will grow things. I’m not good at keeping house plants alive but I like to grow food. Maybe I will get into house plants once my kids are bigger and less likely to throw all the dirt on the floor. We’ll see. Life is long.
Things are growing well here in Wonderland. It is hard to keep that in mind sometimes. Despite my emotional turmoil and tumultuousness–my life is going really well. I like my house more by the year. I may forgo a trip to Portland and stay home this summer and paint my house. Going to Disneyland reminded me that if you want things to look pretty good all you need to do is refresh the paint.
I feel like I am constructing my nest. I am constructing my frame. If I am going to exist in the world I want there to be a place that exemplifies me. I was here. I touched things. I changed them. Maybe I made them better. I don’t want to be easy to wipe away.
When my uncle died I bet it took them at least six full dump truck loads to get rid of all his shit. But once you finish the dump truck loads it is like he was never there. He didn’t make anything. He just held on to stuff for a while. None of it was his, really. His stuff owned him.
If you want to get rid of all the impact I have on the world all you will need is a few coats of paint and/or a bulldozer. But I hope that the first impulse people have is not to haul away all the crap.
I hope that when I die people will be glad to have well established food plants and a piece of property that was lovingly maintained. I hope that someone values what I have done with my effort.
If I get to write the story that is how it will go. I will live in this house until I am a very old woman. I will change it. When I either die or decide I don’t want to cook ever again I hope that a young family will buy this house. I hope that children will eat the blackberries and blueberries and be glad that I planted them.
That is what I hope.
My children are enjoying the food in the meantime. I’m trying to talk them into letting the berries ripen but so far stuff isn’t making it full to ripe. There is much joy to be had in any case.
We have lots things to do. Lots of plants to plant. I’m totally not using my yard efficiently. Give me a few decades. I’m not done yet. When I close my eyes I know what it will look like when I am old. I’m working for that. This feels like the only thing I get to decide to HAVE CONTROL OVER in this lifetime. I don’t get to decide much about anything else–I’m just along for the ride.
My garden is more beautiful by the year. Time. Effort. I have those to give. I have at least fifteen more years of being in the house a lot. I really hope I am mostly done planting by then. Or at least I will know the schedule well. It will be in my bones.
I want that feeling. I want it as bad as I’ve ever wanted anything. I want to feel that connection to a place progressing through the fullness of time.
I will have it, damnit.
“If you want to get rid of all the impact I have on the world all you will need is a few coats of paint and/or a bulldozer.”
Uh, no. Not even close. I’ve met the two small children and the grown man who are proof that this isn’t true. I’ve read posts & comments from lots of other people that tell me this isn’t true. I know in real-life folks in my town and near your town who will tell me this isn’t true.
Okay, I suppose you *could* bulldoze us all away, and then you’d be technically correct. But I like my argument better.
! 🙂
Okay you know how I have this horrible habit of interrupting and jumping into conversations halfway, without listening first? Um, I’m doing it now. Because I’m so excited to tell you about this, after reading your first paragraph!
When you talk about a small plot of land, I recommend the book _How to Grow More Vegetables_ by John Jeavons. There’s a great chart in there about how to grow food in an urban garden. Oh! I found it online here:
http://www.growbiointensive.org/grow_main.html
Look on the fourth tab,
Grow Food in the Smallest Space
for the chart I described. 4000 sq ft for one person, that’s 1/10 acre. (I looked that up.) They are grain-intensive, bc they are hard core about hypothetically feeding yourself.
I heard him speak when I was volunteering at Common Ground in Palo Alto. They have a farm in Willits, somewhere a bit north of us I think. Anyway, the book is extremely practical and if I recall correctly has worksheets to fill out if you want to take it that far. For me the bonus is that they are from Northern California, so while they try to write a book for everyone, I personally think it’s optimized for us.
Another idea I have heard is to keep a gardening calendar diary. Where you planted it, what days, whether that was good weather wise, whether it was a good choice sun wise, and then next year you can add to your calendar which will be customized to your unique house footprint.
s/
You know, because you don’t have enough things to do with your time. 🙂
/s
I enjoy seeing that the roses I planted one place are still doing well and the rosemary and Eden roses at another are flourishing despite neglect by tenants there now. Someone else will live three at some point who enjoys them.
Basically, I hear you on leaving a green, growing footprint rather than a flammable, pile-of-stuff footprint.