My abdominal pain has remained pretty static over the last few months. I took up running again this week. (I desperately need some kind of stress relief that doesn’t involve mutilating my body. Running sucks but it is *something*.) All of a sudden my abdominal pain has jumped to spikey and sharp and it takes my breath away and I have to stop and focus in order to process.

I made an appointment with my doctor. I spent pretty much my entire last therapy appointment talking about how convenient it would be if I could just die of some disease. Then I won’t have to traumatize everyone by killing myself. It would be great. It’s probably time to see a doctor and stop fucking around.

Harm Reduction means actively eliminating harm when you understand it. The pain is getting worse. I can’t keep ignoring it forever.