I sound like I am attacking my friends. This means I am doing something wrong and I should change how I am communicating about the topic I am trying to discuss. Cause that’s how it works when your communications are failing to have the effect you mean them to have.

I think that different people have very different needs and very different resources.

For me given the specific things I want in life and the specific choices I am making day care is not part of our plan and I tend to view it as a wasteful expenditure. The reason I feel this way is I would use the two hours a day to smoke pot and watch The West Wing for the ninth time. Let’s be clear here. (I don’t actually smoke the entire two hours. But I do watch The West Wing way the fuck too much. I think I am up to my eighth go-round through the series. I don’t know what is going on.)

I have friends with very different life circumstances who use a wide variety of day care services. Some use private individual nannies. Some use in home day cares. Some use large group facilities. Some use a friend’s mom. I know stay at home moms and stay at home dads.

I don’t think that any of these choices are good or bad in a vacuum. I think that people pick what works for them. I am not trying to say that someone else is doing something wrong when they do something that would not work for me.

I think that women who model having a life that looks more equivalent to a “man’s” life is doing the entirety of our species a favor. I want female politicians. That means I want women to work. Unless I believe that all women with jobs should be sterilized that means I have to support mothers working. That means I have to support day care.

I support formula feeding, for the record. When a mother tells me that is the right choice for her family I smile, nod, and assume she is fucking right.

Could breastfeeding have been right if she had originally had more education, support, and cultural exposure to breastfeeding? Who the fuck knows. It isn’t my place to preach. And by the time I am hearing about this it is too late anyway and saying anything would just make me an asshole.

I do not believe that paying for day care is always a waste of money. I believe that paying for day care so that I can watch reruns and hide… yeah that’s a waste of money. I wouldn’t be productive in that time. I just wouldn’t be.

I have this weird martyr complex about doing work in front of my kids. I am not good at modeling a balance of work and rest. I do my resting in private. During my rest times I usually cry and I don’t want them around.

I would use day care to sit and cry. I don’t need to pay for that. Not given how much my body is already costing.

I have a lot of self worth issues with regard to spending money. I am not earning any money. I will probably be a dependent for the rest of my life. I signed on to be the care giver of the kids.

If I didn’t get two days off a month I would have a different opinion. Oh, and I get therapy off. That helps TONS. I would pay child care for that if I really had to.

I am very sorry that I sound like I am attacking other people when I evaluate my circumstances. That is not my intent. Other people have different spouses and different life circumstances and different levels of productivity during time away from their kids and and and.

I am not trying to say that what is right for me is what is right. I’m very sorry if I have.