I just had an interesting thought about my relationship with my Owner. He ended the M/s portion of our relationship in July of 2003. I didn’t leave until October of 2004. He didn’t want me to go when I did. He wanted me to stay with him until I was completely done with college.

But he didn’t want to meet any of my needs or have any of the kinds of relationships I wanted to have beyond kind of vaguely being my Daddy. He wanted to give me a secure place to live. He wanted to be able to hurt me when he wanted to. He wanted me to wear his fetish items and look like a doll. He didn’t want to get married and have kids. He didn’t want me to have any kind of security or hope for my future. I was to just exist as someone he could hang out with and not have to talk about anything.

He wanted to have just the appearance of a “girlfriend”. But he had nothing to give. He didn’t even want to have sex. We had sex once a month because I begged.

He didn’t want anything from me other than pain and laughter. I was supposed to enjoy being hurt, not feel bad about it. It wasn’t ok to treat pain like it was a bad thing in my body.

I don’t know how to turn this into a book arc.