I keep writing partial posts and not putting them up. I feel out of context. I feel like explaining things is too hard. I feel like saying what is in my head is bad and dangerous.

Even though I have a lot of good things happening. I’ve had some very validating experiences.

I feel like I should be hiding. I’m not responding to many emails. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m so scared. I know I’m burnt out on my kids needs right now. We didn’t get a Godmama weekend this month (for good reasons) and I’m more irritated with my kids as a result. It isn’t their fault.

But Noah is working more. He is unavailable for a solid 55 hours a week. I know that other people have spouses who work more than that. I just…

Just hide.