I am happy. I have done a lot of work lately. I feel like I am in a good spot. Without hiring a large and vigorous staff it would be hard for me to get more done. I feel really good in my house. I feel like I have space for all of the things I want to own. I feel like I have space for playing and doing art and entertaining.

I have a husband who is so nice to me that my friends brag about him. I’m told. She says she tells younger women, “Marry a man who can cook. My friend’s husband makes her breakfast every morning then goes to work all day and comes home to make dinner.” Yup. I won the husband lottery. How this happened escapes me. But I did. He makes me food. Lots of food. I feel soooooooooooo lucky about this bit.

I hate making food a lot of the time. I really do hate it. Having to put together a meal that is more complicated than boiling ramen noodles can frequently reduce me to tears. I know this is lame and pathetic and all that. Whatever. The fact that Noah will cook for me is really huge.

I feel very happy about the colors I can see out my back window.

I feel like my life is plugging along. I’m doing things and going places and trying new experiences.

I’m so lucky.

The book is just about half done. Ok, it’s not half done. I’m almost halfway through the required number of words for NaNoWriMo. I’m 150 words away from halfway which is convenient because tomorrow is the halfway point of the month.

I hope to hell that I am not going to offend my friends. I think the book is solid. One of the things that is hard about writing this book is that it feels so obvious to me from the point of view I have now. I can’t imagine which parts will be revolutionary for other people. I’m pretty sure I will shock the shit out of people though. I have been me and I have been researching this stuff so long and so carefully that I can’t imagine people not knowing all that I’m saying. I’m scared I’m wasting peoples time. I don’t think I am though.

It is hard to feel confident that I am doing something worth doing. It’s just a month of effort. If it sucks, no big deal–right?

ugh.

I’m starting another mural. I asked for $8/hour and for her to cover my paint. That seems fair. I sure as heck don’t think I’m worth $20/hour. Not yet. Maybe some day.

The arbor will be painted today. Not by me. Because I am painting a mural for someone else I am rolling that money into paying someone to paint my arbor. I have been really dizzy lately. I am honestly afraid of trying to paint something 12′ off the ground right now. I’m pretty sure I would fall. It feels humiliating to say that but it’s true.

More and more birds are hanging out in my yard. They still haven’t found my bird feeder, which kind of irritates me. Oh well. I don’t feel that irritated. I am considering moving the bird feeder.

Today should be mellow and easy. I will clean the bathroom because it is nasty. I hope to vacuum and sweep and mop. I will fold five loads of laundry. It’s a light day. Ha.

I have three people who love me and love me and love me. I am very lucky.