Sometimes I read things about dealing with various panic disorder stuff (including PTSD) and I feel sad. Often they recommend having someone touch you to ground you. It creates more of a feeling of connection and safety.
If I’m having a panic attack and you touch me you may draw back a bloody nub. I wish things worked differently in my body but they don’t. When I am scared I am going to fight as hard as I can and I’ve learned to hurt people pretty badly. That was the smartest thing for me to do for twenty years.
This is hard with my kids.
*nodnod* In an actual panic attack, touch may or may not be useful for me, but it needs to be from the right people, in the right way for it to not backfire. In a mood swing, touch is very much contraindicated. Not at all helpful, often makes things worse, definitely will make things worse for the person trying to do the comforting. Even the lead-up to a mood swing is tricky – I get extremely sensitive emotionally and physically, and touch is *way* iffy. So hard to explain to the good people in my life, who don’t believe it anyway. It took years to convince M, and even then he had to live through the experience several times before he finally believed me. We’re finally at a place where he can leave me be without feeling entirely guilty for not “helping” somehow.
I have to already be calm before touch is “ok” for me. No one can touch me to calm me down. It just doesn’t work. I feel too scared.