(I’ll get back to that longer piece.)

My therapist said to me yesterday, “When people make a commitment to you they *completely mean it* in the moment. They aren’t lying. They truly mean that they want to support you. But later as they go through life they want to keep all of their options open, regardless of commitments to you. That’s not lying. It’s like an astrological difference. To *you* if you make a commitment it means you are stuck with it. Not everyone works that way.”

Yeah. Some people say they will do something and mean it. Some people don’t. I shouldn’t perceive it as “lying” because they “meant well”.

*snort* If at the end of the day I’m carrying a load by myself that other people swore up and down they would help me carry I can’t perceive that in a positive way. I think that if I try to give them the benefit of the doubt at my own expense then I’m a stupid piece of shit with absolutely no self-worth.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so “dramatic”. Whatever.

The only conclusion that I can draw from this is I am a stupid fucking moron if I *ever* believe anything that people say to me.