I wrote my mother in law an eleven page letter this morning. I went to bed with Calli. I passed out hard as soon as my head hit the pillow. I woke up four hours later. Bathroom trip. Then I tried to go back to bed. Instead of sleeping I continued my obsessive composing of a letter to my mother in law.

Her last letter was really nice. And it was more personal than usual. I won’t type to this woman. I don’t want her as part of my internet. This relationship only works through letters.

I woke up thinking about what I wanted to say, and crying. They are the only blood family I can talk to about my children. I want them to know what their grandkids are like. So now three hours later I’m done writing and I’m tired. I’m going back to bed now.

I think the monkey is off my back.